Ten years ago today, Dirty Feed was launched.
Well, actually, that’s a lie. A site called “Transistorized” launched, named after Kenny Everett greeting his “transistorized people”. It was an obscure reference at best, born out of sheer desperation for a name. Later that year, the rather more sensible moniker of Dirty Feed was coined, and I stopped having to worry about whether the site’s name should be spelt with an ‘s’ or with a ‘z’. A full 302 posts and 226,974 words1 of ABSOLUTE GOLD later, here’s where we’ve ended up. And you know me by now: I just can’t resist a little self-indulgent look back.2
The origins of this site are simple enough. I’d been writing on a group blog called Noise to Signal which had naturally come to an end; there was a feeling from more than one of us that it was time to move on and strike out on our own. Which indicates that I must have had some sort of brilliant plan for what I wanted to do next, right?
Nah. I had no real idea at all. The one rule I had was not to become too much of a personal journal like an even earlier blog I’d written. I wanted to write about stuff, not myself.3 I’d also written a lot about web design and tech in the past, but my interests had shifted to other things during the years I wrote on Noise to Signal: towards television and comedy especially.
The plan, then, such as it was: start writing, and see what happened. I also had one other thing at the back of my mind: not to get too bogged down in perfection. Numerous times, I’d started blogs before, quickly got annoyed that they weren’t “perfect”, and deleted them. Time to stop all that. If I didn’t like the last thing I’d written, never mind: the next piece might be better. More than anything else, getting the fuck over myself in that regard is why there might be some things actually worth reading here, rather than just a blank page.
Ah, yes. Stuff worth reading. Time we got onto some of that. Here are some things I’ve done on Dirty Feed over the past ten years that I don’t feel like invoking the right to be forgotten over. One per year, in fact. And stay tuned until the end for some thoughts on where this place might go over the next decade.
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Now That’s What I Call Alan Partridge (2010)
The early years of Dirty Feed are mainly small blog posts and the like, and have few of the bigger projects I attempt these days. This – a soundtrack album for I’m Alan Partridge – was a rare exception, and is the result of endless nights of messing around in Audacity. I’m still really proud of it. (The original link to the actual music file is now dead; it now resides on Mixcloud.)
The Road to Bannu (2011)
A plea for ambition in audience sitcom. I would write longer, better things about comedy in later years, but I still like this one: taking a far-from-obvious episode of sitcom, and pointing out all the things that are great about it.
Dirty Feed Podcast #1: TV Offal (2012)
Ah, my podcast. It started with such fanfare. I think this first episode, about VLS’s poison pen letter to television, is one of the best things I’ve ever done. There were two more episodes that year… and then it just died. Partly because I got a new job and didn’t have as much free time, partly because I hated making it (listening to your own voice over and over again is never much fun), and partly because I promised an episode about a show that I loved… but, it turned out, I didn’t have much to say about.
One day, it will return. I promise. The world doesn’t need any more groups of white guys with a podcast. But maybe there’s room for one more singular white guy with a podcast, especially if they play some nice jingles occasionally.
Smashie and Nicey: The End of an Era (2013)
In many ways, this is where Dirty Feed as it is today really started. An analysis of the differences between broadcast and VHS versions of one of the best comedy shows ever made4, this is something I’d meant to write for years… and when I finally got round to it, it felt like everything I wanted my writing to be, for the first time. So many of the pieces I’m most proud of since can see their beginnings here.5
Curse of the Dream Sequence (2014)
Looking back, 2014 certainly didn’t capitalise on the new ways I’d found to write in 2013; another brand new job explains that one. But this piece about two very different sitcom dream sequences is by far the best thing I wrote that year. (Sometimes, writing about sitcoms can be easy; take Sorry! seriously as a piece of writing, and you’re already ahead of so many people.)
24 Hours in Channel 5 TX (2015)
2015 was when I really felt the writing on this site click into place; unlike unlike the first five years of this site’s life, it was a real struggle to pick an article to represent this year.6 In the end, I’ve gone for a piece which lifts the lid on something very, very rarely talked about: what it’s like to direct a television channel. It’s so difficult to write these things without endangering your job, and I had to tread carefully with that piece: there are certain topics which I just couldn’t cover.7 But it still gives a rare insight into the process that goes far beyond the guesswork you’ll get from many other places.
Who Framed Michael Eisner (2016)
A piece which links together Who Framed Roger Rabbit and Monty Python’s Flying Circus. One thing I love doing on Dirty Feed is finding connections between things that you wouldn’t think had anything in common; this is as an extreme example as any you’ll find on here.
Frasier: The Good Son (2017)
An examination of how the pilot of Frasier changed between script and screen. This kind of article has become Dirty Feed’s bread and butter over the years; what makes this piece so fascinating is nothing to do with me, and everything to do with how perfect that Frasier pilot truly is.
Cheap Cheap Cheap: Escape from the Cuntery (2018)
A wholehearted defence of much-derided Channel 4 game show Cheap Cheap Cheap, this piece also manages to encapsulate so much that I love about television that I sometimes struggle to say… but finally found a voice here. This might be my single favourite thing I’ve ever written.8
Fawlty At Large (2019)
Yeah, yeah, I know, I keep going on about this one. But this series of articles – ostensibly about the origins of Fawlty Towers, although it takes a turn into something quite different halfway through – feels like the cumulation of 10 years of me figuring out how to write about this stuff effectively. I’d love to do more longform writing on comedy like this.
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Here’s the thing. I think I’m supposed to be bored of writing Dirty Feed by now.
In preparation for this article, I took a look at many blogs who had done 10th anniversary posts. And so many of them had either already run out of steam, or at best were merely spluttering along. There are, of course, some very honourable exceptions, but in the main: if you’ve been doing this shit for 10 years, you’re often ready to move on. Especially if you’re not being paid for it.
But I’m not ready. If anything, I’m even keener on writing for this place than I used to be. I have so many ideas for things I want to do. One list of potential article ideas I have hanging around here is 114 items long.
Part of this is that Dirty Feed has become my sanctuary. Over the last ten years, I’ve survived many things. A job that nearly sent me absolutely crackers. A long-term relationship falling apart. A lovely case of pneumonia, which had me in intensive care for two weeks and nearly killed me. Throughout it all, Dirty Feed became somewhere where I could come and be me for a bit, without having to answer to anybody but myself.9 With the horrendous events of the last few months in this country, I need somewhere like this more than ever. Spending time calmly working on your own stuff is so much more relaxing than the maelstrom of Twitter.
Alternatively:
I said at the beginning of this piece that back in 2010 I just started writing, without really having much idea of what this place was going to turn into. That didn’t really work out for Noise to Signal, the aforementioned group blog; it drifted aimlessly through the media landscape, with too many voices and not enough focus. There was loads of good stuff there, but it always felt to me like a group of people yelling about slightly different things.
But actually, I have figured out what this place is for. I’m not sure if I entirely agree with this article, about the dangers of algorithmic sameness in entertainment… but nor do I entirely disagree with it either. Media fragmentation is an odd thing: for all that we are told that we all watch different things and there are fewer shared experiences these days, Hollywood is pouring more and more money into making fewer films. Meanwhile, mainstream broadcasters are making less interesting stuff at the edges of the schedule than ever before, and pouring all their resources into primetime.
If Dirty Feed has a theme running through it, it’s that I want to talk about stuff that nobody else is talking about. Partly because I sure as shit don’t have anything to say about the other stuff: if everyone’s talking about the latest Netflix drama, I’m just not going to have anything amazing to add. But also, I think there is something useful in writing about things which are entirely off the financial radar of most people. Media companies producing big event-led stuff, and then other media companies writing about it, does have a certain spiral of sameness after a while. It’s fun to do something entirely outside that ecosystem.
I’d call it Public Service Blogging, but I’d be deservedly kicked right in the face.
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As ever, thank you for reading my nonsense over the years. I really do appreciate all your kind words, links, likes, and retweets. I often say it, but it bears repeating: one person telling me they enjoyed something I’ve written is worth 1000 hits from anonymous people. Especially as I’m sure 999 of them read one line, mutter the word “twat”, and then click away.
I have all sorts of things planned for this year, but as usual, I don’t want to get bogged down with promises that I can’t keep. I will say that this year I intend to do fewer, more in-depth pieces, rather than endless small updates. So if I disappear for stretches at a time, then don’t worry: I’m just working on something good. Or working on something, at least.
Hmmmm. 10 years since that I’m Alan Partridge soundtrack, though. Surely it’s time for a sequel, for another much-loved sitcom…
As of this sentence. ↩
Bizarrely, the name change from Transistorized to Dirty Feed was never actually noted on the site; at the time, I was extremely leery of annoying “housekeeping” blog posts, having read far too many over the years. The article you are reading now may suggest that I have thrown caution to the winds these days.
In fact, my record-keeping in this area is so lax that I can’t even tell you exactly which date the site renamed itself. All I can figure out was that it was still Transistorized on the 12th September and had changed by the 4th October, according to an old email I have. Yeah, I realise that the fact I can’t narrow it down more than this – considering my obsession with archiving – is really bloody odd. ↩
That rule is going brilliantly, obviously. ↩
Good. Clean. Family. Fun. ↩
I can usually tell these days when something is going to turn out well: the research ends up being such a bastard that it’s clear why nobody has written it before. ↩
Other candidates for articles to represent 2015: an explanation of TV channel automation, John Cleese’s least favourite things about Fawlty Towers, April Fools gags in old Acorn magazines, an investigation into edits of a key scene in One Foot in the Grave, and an in-depth examination of the live 2005 Quatermass broadcast. I’ve never had a more productive year on here. ↩
Notably, there’s nothing in there about obituary procedures, or channels outsourcing their playout. ↩
This article is one of the few times I’ve regretted my foul mouth on here; I was struggling for a headline, and at the first glimpse of a bad pun, I took it. I don’t mind swearing where it’s appropriate or funny; I’m not sure this was either, really, and I would have liked the piece to have reached a slightly wider audience. Oh well, too late now. ↩
This may explain why, when someone said they only really liked my writing about comedy, I refused to write any for a whole year. ↩