Here’s to You, Mrs. Littlefield

After nearly four decades, what is there new to say about the pilot of Cheers – widely regarded as one of the best television pilots ever made?

We can tick through the Standard Series Facts™ pretty quickly. Sam Malone was originally going to be an NFL player, until Ted Danson was cast. John Ratzenberger originally auditioned for the part of Norm. Before they decided on a bar in Boston, the initial idea was for a show set in a hotel. And you probably know what George Wendt is actually drinking at the bar, right?

If we dig a little deeper, however, we come across the strange tale of Mrs. Littlefield. A character scripted, cast, and shot for the pilot… but cut before air. Well, mostly cut, anyway.

Let’s find out a little about her from Sam Simon, writer and producer on Cheers¹:

“There was another regular that was cut out of the pilot, did you know that? Boston is a very racist town, and there was an old woman in a wheelchair, whose name I don’t remember. I think you can see her in the pilot, in the first episode, I should say, because it wasn’t a pilot.² They wanted to do the reality of Boston a little bit, and the racism of the town is certainly a valid topic for comment.”

Sam Simon, Television Academy Interview (49:24 – 50:05)

Then there’s this reader question on Ken Levine’s blog, another writer and producer on Cheers³:

“In Sam Simon’s amazing Emmy TV Legends interview, he talks about a character that was cut out of the Cheers pilot: A racist woman in a wheelchair. She was supposed to be a regular character, but apparently the Charles Bros/Burrows agreed that her harshness didn’t gel with the rest of the show.

Do you know anything about this?

Yes. The character was named Mrs. Littlefield. She was an opinionated old broad from the D.A.R.⁴ She was in the pilot and the decision to drop the character was made after it was filmed. Politics just didn’t fit with the mix. So they cut out her part, but there are a few shots here and there where she is still in the background. Just look for a sweet white-haired little old lady who used to have lines.

Since several back-up scripts were in the works before the pilot was filmed, we also had to go back and write her out of those episodes as well.

Again, it was a case of an actor being let go not because they gave a bad performance or did anything wrong. It’s just that the character didn’t mesh with the others.”

Ken Levine, Friday Questions (3rd January 2014)

Sure enough, if we go looking for her, we can indeed see Mrs. Littlefield in her wheelchair throughout the pilot:

All of which is fascinating. But what nobody has done – at least as far as I can tell – is examine the original script of the pilot, and written about what Mrs. Littlefield actually said. But surely that script wouldn’t be readily available online…

Oh, hello. Final Draft, dated 16th April 1982. And it contains all of Mrs. Littlefield’s dialogue, every single line of which was edited out of the final episode.

Let’s take a look, shall we?

*   *   *

First of all, let’s correct one little myth once and for all. In many places online – this piece on the show’s 30th anniversary, for instance – Mrs. Littlefield is said to be played by Elaine Stritch. Ken Levine clears this up in another reader’s question on his blog:

“In reading reviews and the history of “Give Me a Ring Sometime”, it seems that there was another patron character that was intended to be in the cast, an older cantankerous woman in a wheelchair. Several places online it is noted that she was played by Elaine Stritch. […]

First off, that was not Elaine Stritch. We tried to use Ms. Stritch in an episode seven or eight years and let’s just say it was not a good match.”

Ken Levine, Friday Questions (29th April 2016)

What he doesn’t say, however, is who actually played her, possibly because Ken Levine is a polite man who doesn’t think it’s necessary to name an actor who was then dropped from a show. I have no such compunction, however, so let’s take a look at the script’s cast list:

Mrs. Littlefield was played by a certain Margaret Wheeler. I can’t say I’d ever heard of her before, but a quick glance at IMDB reveals a career over three decades, playing mainly bit parts – generally elderly ladies. Cheers could well have been her breakout role, if she hadn’t been cut. Showbiz is ruthless.

Anyway, let’s take a look at the script.⁵ The vast majority of Mrs. Littlefield was removed from the episode in one chunk. Here is her major scene – cut stuff looks like this:

DIANE: Why do you own a bar?
SAM: I bought it when I was a drunk, and hung onto it for sentimental reasons.

TWO MEN ENTER AND GO TO A TABLE. CARLA GOES OVER AND TAKES THEIR ORDER. OTHER CUSTOMERS ENTER THROUGH THE REST OF THE SCENE.

NORM: Sam, I’m gonna have one more and call it a day.

A NURSE ENTERS PUSHING AN ELDERLY LADY IN A WHEELCHAIR. EVERYONE GREETS HER WITH “HI MRS. LITTLEFIELD.” SHE WAVES AT THEM ALL. THE NURSE LOWERS THE WHEELCHAIR DOWN THE STEPS.

MRS. LITTLEFIELD: Easy, you’re shaking my jowls.

THE NURSE WHEELS HER TO A TABLE.

MRS. LITTLEFIELD: How are you gentlemen?
NURSE: I’ll see you in a couple of hours. Unless you die.
MRS. LITTLEFIELD: I’ll do wheelies on your grave.

THE NURSE GIVES HER A LOOK AND THEN EXITS. SAM POURS MRS. LITTLEFIELD A DRINK.

MRS. LITTLEFIELD: How you doing, Sam?
SAM: I’m real good, Mrs. Littlefield. How are you?
MRS. LITTLEFIELD: I was okay until I read the papers this morning. Latin America is weighing on my mind. It’s overrun with Communists.
SAM: It’s hard to know what to do about Latin America.
MRS. LITTLEFIELD: I know what to do. Bomb their serapes off.
COACH: I heard on the “Today” show Latin America’s a trouble spot.
MRS. LITTLEFIELD: The “Today” show’s a trouble spot. It’s the pinkest show on television.
COACH: Comes in okay on my set.

CARLA COMES BACK.

CARLA: Beefeater martini up with a twist. Plymouth martini, rocks, olive. And a Bass Ale.

THE COACH STARTS TO FILL THE ORDER.

MRS. LITTLEFIELD: (NOTICES DIANE’S SUITCASES) Going somewhere?
DIANE: Yes.
MRS. LITTLEFIELD: Avoid nations whose leaders have hair on their faces.
SAM: Abraham Lincoln had a beard.
MRS. LITTLEFIELD: Need I say more?

NORM: Yo, Miss! What’re you reading, a book?

EVERYONE LOOKS AT DIANE. DIANE LOOKS STRAIGHT AHEAD.

MRS. LITTLEFIELD: (TO DIANE) You’re not real chatty, are you?
DIANE: (TO COACH) Where’s your bathroom?
COACH: Right next to my bedroom.
SAM: Down the hall.

DIANE GETS UP AND EXITS INTO THE LADIES ROOM.

MRS. LITTLEFIELD: Check that suitcase for plastic explosives.
CARLA: (TO SAM) What’s Goldilocks’ story?

Once you know all this has been chopped out, it’s easy to see Mrs. Littlefield suddenly pop up behind Diane in the space of a few seconds in the finished episode, right after Norm asks Diane what she’s reading:

It would be a brave person indeed who would argue that this wasn’t a sensible cut, “bomb their serapes off” and all. I’m not going to argue that the production made a mistake with this one. It really doesn’t fit in with the tone of the rest of the show. Sometimes, you only really find out what you’ve actually made once you’ve made it.

Still, a close look at the script does provide some fun moments. The opening salvo from Mrs. Littlefield’s nurse is amusingly blunt: “I’ll see you in a couple of hours. Unless you die.” But the real gem is the cut exchange with Coach: “It’s the pinkest show on television.” / “Comes in okay on my set.” You can just imagine how Colasanto would have delivered it; completely off-hand, possibly even wandering off as he said it. It’s a lovely little joke.

With all the above, we’ve already seen the bulk of what Mrs. Littlefield has to offer. Still, once they decided to remove this scene, there are a few more snatches of dialogue of hers the show had to remove. Firstly, from the opening of Act 2:

CARLA COMES OVER WITH AN ORDER.

CARLA: (TO DIANE) He’s not back yet?
DIANE: No.
CARLA: Why don’t you make a run for it?
DIANE: You’re a bitter little person, aren’t you?
CARLA: I have a right to be. My husband left me with four kids.
DIANE: Four kids?
CARLA: Yeah, and after I paid his way through school hustling drinks. (TAKES DRINK TO MRS. LITTLEFIELD) Here you go, Mrs. L.
MRS. LITTLEFIELD: Thank you, dear.
DIANE: What school did he go to?
CARLA: Colletti Academy of TV Repair. The minute he graduated he left me. Said I wouldn’t fit in with the other repairmen’s wives. Big shot.

At first glance, this exchange would appear to be an absolute bastard to get rid of: right in the middle of a scene between Carla and Diane. Moreover, it’s fairly obvious this was shot, because Mrs. Littlefield is lurking around in the background of this scene:

So, how did they do it? The answer seems to be a perfect mix of serendipity and cleverness. Take a look at the tray Carla is holding, before and after the cut lines:

The glass mysteriously empties between shots. Clearly, they just cut out the section where Carla served Mrs. Littlefield her drink and took away her empty glass. But unless you’re looking very closely, it just looks like the same glass!

For the final proof, what is Mrs. Littlefield holding after her cut lines?

Ah, the magic of television.

Our final piece of cut Mrs. Littlefield comes as Diane’s life spectacularly implodes near the end of the episode:

SUMNER: (INTO PHONE) Hello. …no, it’s all right. She understands and I understand. …Oh, Barbara, that’s very human of you. I’ll be right over. (STARTS TO HANG UP AND THEN PULLS THE RECEIVER BACK) And Barbara… your depth frightens me.⁶ (TO DIANE) She insists that you have the ring.
DIANE: Sumner, we won’t have time to make the plane.
SUMNER: Let’s do this. You call and get us on a later flight. This flight, the next flight… No one’s going to take Barbados away from us.
MRS. LITTLEFIELD: Ever heard of the Kremlin?
SUMNER: I’ll go now and get the ring from Barbara. (HE STARTS OUT)
DIANE: Sumner…
SUMNER: What?
DIANE: How about a kiss?
SUMNER: Maybe. I’ll play it by ear.

Here, the cut dialogue is clearly covered with a cutaway to Sam behind the bar. When we cut back, Mrs. Littlefield still in shot, having just delivered her deleted line:

The cutaway to Sam works beautifully here, regardless of it being used to cover an edit. We should be seeing his concern with Diane’s situation at this point; it’s exactly what the episode has been leading up to. As for Mrs. Littlefield’s final line, it’s superficially amusing, but I wonder whether you really want her butting in during this scene. Surely our interest is with Diane, Sumner and Sam at this point? Even if the rest of Mrs. Littlefield had survived the edit, I could imagine this line being cut.

And that’s your lot: an echo of a character intended to be a recurring part of Cheers, cruelly deleted before she really had a chance of life. And perhaps a reminder that if we really want to find out about things like this, there’s no substitute for going direct to the source: the script. Nobody who worked on the show was going to remember specific gags from Mrs. Littlefield this many years down the line; by analysing the script, we get an idea of how she was intended to work comedically with the other characters. And while she ended up not being the right fit for the show, I think you can see what they were going for, at least. She’s not an obviously bad idea… it’s just she didn’t end up being quite right.

Which leaves us just one further thing to ponder. The fact that Cheers has got an HD remaster proves that there are substantial archive holdings for the show. Surely it’s at least possible that the deleted Mrs. Littlefield material still exists? And if it does, wouldn’t it be fun to dig out for a retrospective documentary of some kind?

Say… the 40th anniversary, in a couple of years?

1. Among a million and one other things ↩

2. You may note that I’m ignoring Sam Simon here, and refer to the first episode as the pilot throughout this article. I don’t know exactly why he doesn’t class it as a pilot; the episode was shot a few months before the rest of Season 1, as detailed here. Many other people who worked on the show refer to it as the pilot, so I’m going to follow their lead. ↩

3. Among two million and one other things. ↩

4. Daughters of the American Revolution. ↩

5. Reformatted a little for readability. ↩

6. Sumner really is a complete bastard. ↩

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best of, cheers, edits, pilots