I Asked ChatGPT To Write Dirty Feed, the Results Will Not Amaze You

It’s odd how quickly some cliches can be formed. For instance, that thing where journalists report on AI, by using an opening few paragraphs written by AI. I’m not saying it’s a terrible approach per se. But after seeing it a few times, I most certainly don’t need to see it any more.

So I’m deliberately not doing that here. But I did think it might be vaguely amusing to see what ChatGPT would make of the prompt: “Write an article suitable for dirtyfeed.org.” If you don’t think this would be amusing, then please click away now.

Firstly, ChatGPT 3.5:

“From the Cutting Room Floor to the Internet: The Secret Life of TV Fails”

There’s a reason why TV fails and bloopers have become such a staple of entertainment. They remind us that even the most polished and professional productions are not immune to human error. But what happens to those moments that never make it to air? The ones that are deemed too embarrassing, too offensive, or simply too dull to be seen by the public eye?

In the past, these outtakes were simply discarded or locked away in a vault, never to be seen again. But with the rise of the internet and the insatiable appetite for behind-the-scenes content, the secret life of TV fails has been brought into the spotlight. Websites like Dirty Feed have made it their mission to showcase the best (and worst) of these outtakes, giving fans an unprecedented look at the inner workings of their favorite shows.

So what makes a good TV fail? Is it the shocking reveal of a curse word uttered by a beloved character? Is it the sight of a prop malfunctioning in the middle of a dramatic scene? Or is it the delightfully awkward banter between co-stars who are struggling to keep a straight face? The answer is all of the above, and more.

One of the most famous examples of a TV fail is the “Rickrolling” incident on the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in 2008. For those who don’t remember, the popular internet meme “Rickrolling” involves tricking someone into clicking a link that leads them to Rick Astley’s hit song “Never Gonna Give You Up.” During the parade, the hosts of the event were apparently unaware of this phenomenon and invited Astley to perform live. As he began singing, the camera suddenly cut away to a float, leaving viewers at home confused and amused. The moment quickly went viral, and the parade hosts became unwitting participants in one of the most iconic TV fails of all time.

But not all TV fails are created equal. Some are so cringe-worthy that they can’t even be shown on Dirty Feed. Others are simply too boring or insignificant to warrant attention. It takes a keen eye and a discerning taste to curate a collection of TV fails that will appeal to the masses.

But despite the challenges, the world of TV fails is thriving. With new shows and new outtakes being produced every day, there is always something new to discover. And for fans who love nothing more than peering behind the curtain and seeing the magic of television come to life, there’s no better place to be than Dirty Feed.

And secondly, ChatGPT 4.0:

Title: The History of Controversial Radio Broadcasts: From Bloopers to Outrage

Introduction

Dirty Feed has long been a haven for fans of broadcasting trivia, bloopers, and the occasional controversy. As the world of radio has evolved over the years, it has seen its fair share of scandals and provocative moments. In this article, we’ll take a look at some of the most memorable and controversial radio broadcasts, spanning from the early days of the medium to the modern era of podcasting.

The War of the Worlds (1938)
Orson Welles’ adaptation of H.G. Wells’ classic sci-fi novel “The War of the Worlds” is perhaps one of the most infamous radio broadcasts in history. Aired on October 30, 1938, the show was presented in a news bulletin format, leading some listeners to believe that an actual Martian invasion was underway. The resulting panic led to a significant backlash against the show and a number of regulatory changes in the broadcasting industry.

The Howard Stern Show (1986-2005)
Few radio personalities have generated as much controversy as shock jock Howard Stern. His long-running show was infamous for its raunchy humor, explicit content, and provocative interviews. Stern’s antics led to numerous fines from the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) and protests from various interest groups. The show’s edgy content eventually led to Stern’s migration to satellite radio, where he continues to broadcast today.

The “Don Imus Nappy-Headed Hos” Incident (2007)
In April 2007, radio host Don Imus found himself in the middle of a firestorm after referring to the Rutgers University women’s basketball team as “nappy-headed hos.” The comment sparked outrage, leading to a two-week suspension for Imus and the eventual cancellation of his long-running show.

The “Sachsgate” Scandal (2008)
British comedians Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross found themselves at the center of a media frenzy in 2008 after leaving a series of inappropriate voicemail messages for actor Andrew Sachs during an episode of Brand’s BBC Radio 2 show. The incident, dubbed “Sachsgate,” resulted in the resignation of Brand and a 12-week suspension for Ross, as well as widespread debate over the limits of humor and taste in broadcasting.

The Alex Jones Show (1996-2018)
Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones built a substantial following with his radio show, which featured a mix of fringe theories, anti-government sentiment, and aggressive rhetoric. Jones’ most notorious claim involved labeling the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting as a hoax, which led to harassment of the victims’ families. In 2018, multiple platforms banned Jones and his show for violating their community standards.

Conclusion

Controversial radio broadcasts have been a part of the medium’s history since its inception. While some instances were the result of genuine misunderstandings or boundary-pushing humor, others were clear examples of hate speech or misinformation. As radio evolves into new formats, such as podcasts and streaming services, we can expect new controversies and challenges to arise, as well as a continued discussion about the responsibility of broadcasters and the limits of free speech.

Well, I certainly hope you all thought that was crap. Otherwise, I’m wasting my time here.

But hey, maybe you think I’m cheating by expecting ChatGPT to understand what I mean by “dirtyfeed.org”. So I tried another tack, again with ChatGPT 4.0: “Please write an article for a blog about British archive television, featuring in-depth original research and a vaguely comedic style.”

Title: Time Travelling Through Telly: A Whimsical Waltz Down British Archive Television Lane

Subtitle: The Good, the Bad, and the “What Were They Thinking?”

Ah, British archive television! If you’ve ever found yourself feeling nostalgic for the days when the telly was a simple box with a handful of channels, and you had to physically get up to change them, you’re in for a treat. Get ready to take a trip down memory lane as we unearth some lost gems and bask in the delightful absurdity of yesteryears’ television shows.

The Good: Oh, the Glory Days!

Let’s begin our journey by paying tribute to the classics. The days when Dad’s Army and Fawlty Towers graced our screens with their timeless humour. These shows are still fondly remembered and cherished today, thanks to the brilliance of the writing, the charm of the characters, and the sheer uniqueness of the premises.

For instance, who can forget Basil Fawlty, played by the incomparable John Cleese, running a hotel while trying to avoid a nervous breakdown in every episode? Or Captain Mainwaring and his ragtag platoon of Home Guard misfits in Dad’s Army, defending Britain from a Nazi invasion with a healthy dose of slapstick comedy?

The Bad: Cringe-Worthy Misfires

Sadly, not every British TV show from the archives was a work of art. There are plenty of obscure, forgotten programmes that simply missed the mark. For example, the 1970s gave us “Heil Honey I’m Home!”, an ill-conceived sitcom featuring Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun as a bickering suburban couple living next to a Jewish family. It’s no surprise that the show was cancelled after just one episode. The moral of the story? Some ideas should stay on the drawing board.

The “What Were They Thinking?”

Now we venture into the realm of the truly bizarre. The British TV archives are home to some truly baffling programming decisions. Take, for example, “The Singing Ringing Tree,” a children’s programme from the 1960s that was a West German import, dubbed into English. This surreal fairytale show featured a cursed princess, a dwarf villain, and a fish that granted wishes – not to mention the eponymous tree, which sang and rang. With its eerie atmosphere and unsettling visuals, it’s a wonder how this show didn’t give every child in Britain nightmares.

Or how about “Triangle,” the 1980s soap opera set aboard a North Sea ferry, which managed to make even the turbulent waves of the North Sea seem dull by comparison? Despite its promising premise, the show sank faster than the Titanic, leaving viewers feeling seasick and ultimately unfulfilled.

In Conclusion: A Treasure Trove of Telly

Whether you want to revisit the golden age of British television, marvel at the spectacularly ill-conceived, or indulge in the downright bizarre, the archives have something for everyone. With a wealth of original programming and a healthy dose of eccentricity, British archive television offers a fascinating and often hilarious window into the past. So, pop on your rose-tinted glasses, grab a cuppa, and settle in for a nostalgia-fuelled journey into the weird and wonderful world of British telly.

“Grab a cuppa” indeed. Fuck off.

There is a point to all this, believe it or not. It strikes me that trying to ape the output of Dirty Feed really is an interesting test to give an AI. Not because my writing style is brilliant; far from it. But the whole point of this site is that it does actually conduct original research, and that’s exactly what AI or machine learning is terrible at. I don’t see any tool managing to produce an article which could be published on this site for a very, very long time.

But who knows? Remind me to ask ChatGPT again in a year.

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