Where’s Wally Who?

One problem with writing Dirty Feed is that there are so many strands of research here, that I end up losing track of some of them. Such was the case with early 80s Radio 2 sitcom Wally Who?, written by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor. In 2020-21, I wrote a few pieces on the show… and then it entirely fell off my radar.

A reminder, then. When we last talked about the series, I couldn’t even figure out exactly how many episodes of the show there were. It’s worth reading that whole article for all the details, but I’ll give you the short version. Here are the episodes that we knew were broadcast, and that we had copies of:

And here are the rest of the episodes as listed in the Radio Times, that we didn’t have copies of:

Not only did we not have copies of them, but none of them were given titles or an episode-specific synopsis in the Radio Times either, making them feel uncannily like “ghost” episodes. Did these remaining four shows really exist, or not?

What I needed is someone to show up in my email, and give me the magic answer I’ve been looking for, without any real effort on my part. So step forward Alan Power, who did precisely that, and to Holocron who rediscovered it in the first place. Anyone fancy an episode of Wally Who? that precious few people have heard since 1983?

Download Wally Who?, Episode 8

First things first. This material was labelled as “Episode 8”. If correct, that means it was broadcast on Radio 2 on the 2nd January 1983, and repeated on the 7th January 1983. Yes, the opening second or so of the episode is missing, but hopefully the continuity announcer’s chuckle at the end makes up for it.

Secondly, five of the first six episodes are given titles in the Radio Times; as the capsules for the remaining four are generic, we currently have no way of knowing what the official episode title is for the newly-discovered episode. Tempting though it is to name it “The Prisoner” or something, let’s just stick with “Episode 8” for now.

Finally, I would suggest that as this episode exists, it seems very likely that Wally Who? really was ten episodes long after all. It’s not absolute proof, of course, but I think it’s more likely than any other scenario. Which means I think our episode guide can now go something like this:

If the above is correct, that means we have copies of seven of the ten episodes; we’re only missing Episode 7, Episode 9, and Episode 10. Now Episode 8 has suddenly made an appearance, finding the remaining three episodes no longer feels completely impossible. Truth be told, I had convinced myself before that the series really was only six episodes long, so more of Rob and Doug’s early radio work coming to light is a delightful surprise. If you think you might have any copies of the three missing episodes hanging around, please let me know.

As for the the “new” episode itself, I have to admit that I still struggle a little with Wally Who?, although I always think it works far better on a second listen. I did very much enjoy the end joke, along with the following exchange, featuring some very nervous audience laughter. I think I detect Rob Grant’s delight in a bit of the old ultra-violence:

ERIC: I thought you’d said he’d changed? I thought you said he was a reformed character?
WALLY: Well, he has reformed! Sort of. I mean, fifteen years ago he’d have been out with the axe, chop chop chop, and you’d be in seven little plastic bags. Buried down the bottom of his garden. Now at least he just grabs you in a neck hold and tries to run your head through an enamel sink.

As for bits reused in Red Dwarf, there are a few familiar motifs: scrumping, furry dice, and Casablanca. But the most obvious bit is the following conversation about junk mail:

POSTMAN: I bring you anything which looks urgent. You can’t expect me to traipse across that muddy dump to deliver the kind of mail you get.
WALLY: And what’s that supposed to mean?
POSTMAN: Well it’s just junk mail, isn’t it? In the main.
WALLY: It is not! I had a wide and varied correspondence, I do.
POSTMAN: It’s all from the Reader’s Digest. “Congratulations Mr. Thornton, and all at the caravan on Lottie’s used car dump. Because, Mr. Thornton, you and all the other Thornton household have been selected along with 20 million other people to be privy to our special offer of: The Book of British Goldfish.”

Which strongly reminds me of the following from Red Dwarf‘s “Better Than Life”, broadcast five years later on the 13th September 1988:

Lister is sorting through a huge pile of mail.

RIMMER: It’s all junk mail yours, you know.
LISTER: Me. Me. Me.
RIMMER: You send off for every bit of rubbish going, you do. Just so you’ll have some mail to open.
LISTER: Me. Me.
RIMMER: “Please rush me my portable walrus polishing kit. Four super brushes that will clean even the trickiest of seabound mammals.” Yes I am over eighteen, though my IQ isn’t.

Thanks once again to Alan Power for sending me the “latest” episode of Wally Who, and to Holocron for finding it in the first place. Five other episodes are available on Ganymede & Titan, and “All I Want for Christmas” is available on archive.org. Skip to 2:10 in for that one.

UPDATE (16/5/24): Article updated to give correct credit to Holocron.

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