Looking for Lise

The Young Ones was written by Ben Elton, Rik Mayall, and Lise Mayer, with additional material by Alexei Sayle. One of those names is not like the others.

After all, Ben Elton shows up on-screen in a surprising number of episodes: five, to be exact.¹ Alexei Sayle appears in every single episode, mostly as various offshoots of the Balowski Family. And if you don’t know who Rik Mayall played, then please stop reading this article. But what about Lise Mayer? Surely she shows up in at least one episode?

Certainly, the Comedy Connections episode on The Young Ones, broadcast on the 18th July 2006, seems to think so. Take a look at this linking sequence:

As Lise Mayer is mentioned, a young woman spins into view on their big chart: one of the women at the party in “Interesting”. We can probably guess where this piece of information came from; the IMDB listed her in this role in 2005, and indeed still listed her when the article you are reading now was published. For years, I thought that particular partygoer was Lise Mayer too.

Which is a bit odd, because IMDB also includes the correct information. For a start, the character in question is actually called Rhiannon – Rik mentions this during the famous tampon sequence. And the actress is Cindy Shelley, known to many as Abby in Howards’ Way, but most memorable to me for a wonderful performance as Alice in the third and final series of Tenko.

Cindy shows up again in the very next episode, “Flood”, playing the double amputee² interviewed by Ben Elton’s DJ. Another character who, for years, I thought was played by Lise Mayer too. Maybe I should have done something wild and radical, like “checked the end credits” or something.

OK, so fine. How about the chemist in “Sick”, who Mike asks for “£180 of Durex”? This has also been claimed to have been Lise Mayer on various forums and the like. But no. This is Ruth Burnett, who we mainly know for playing Cinderella in “Interesting”.

It’s a weird coincidence that both of her scenes were with Christopher Ryan.

Let’s move onto “Summer Holiday”. Surely Lise will have some kind of role in the final episode? The British Comedy Guide seem to think that she plays Dawn, who Rik unsuccessfully tries to charge for sexual relations. “You must be joking!”

But no, this is Joanne Pearce, who for our purposes is probably most famous for playing the kidnapped Princess Wendy in the film version of Whoops Apocalypse.³

OK, so we’re getting desperate now. We have one final chance. How about the woman in the Hawk Lager ad? A sketch so funny that I just have to embed it here:

Her series of stupid faces is seriously one of my very favourite things in The Young Ones.

But is this Lise Mayer? Again, IMDB seems to think so, among other places online. But at this point it seems worth quoting the comments on this YouTube video of the sketch, which about sums the whole mess up:

@Diskoboy1974
Lise Mayer and one of the rare moments she actually appears on camera during the entire series.

@HappyCynic
Except that isn’t Lise Mayer. That is Joanna Pearce.

@robparkinson9850
@HappyCynic the credits always suggested it was lise mayer, but i was always dubious

@robparkinson9850
@HappyCynic The credits suggest Joanne Pearce is Dawn, the girl who has been jogging and collected her exam results early because she “was such a girly swot”

@HappyCynic
@robparkinson9850 Yeah, I did get that wrong. The trouble is the credits to the last episode contain everyone who was ever in The Young Ones, not just the episode.

@HappyCynic
@robparkinson9850 Lise Mayer did appear in The Young ones. It was in the episode ‘Interesting’.

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

Finding out the identity of this actress for sure is tricky. Despite her extremely amusing performance, as she doesn’t speak, she’s not listed in the end credits of “Summer Holiday”. More bizarrely, she doesn’t even appear on the PasC form issued after production was completed, despite the fact that it lists people who didn’t even appear in the final show. To be sure of her name, I had to go all the way back to the camera script.

Which reveals that “Lager Ad Girl” is… not Lise Mayer. It’s Laura Allen, also known as Cindy from the brilliant “Oo-er, Sounds a Bit Rude” in Filthy, Rich & Catflap. “Well, I always like to keep abreast of what you’re up to, Ivor…”

The thing which amuses me about this: everyone really wants Lise Mayer to have had an on-screen role in The Young Ones. Because it would tie a nice little bow on proceedings. Everyone else who wrote the show had an appearance, why not Lise?

Which makes total sense. There’s just one problem: she didn’t. Sorry.

With thanks to Tanya Jones, Jason Hazeley, Gary Rodger, and Mike Scott.

1. Baz in “Demolition”, the DJ in “Flood”, Kendal Mintcake in “Bambi”, a Grange Hill student in “Sick”, and the man in the Hawk Lager ad in “Summer Holiday”. Five episodes… but at least six roles, because he also plays the cat in “Flood”. “My wife, she’s a terrible cook, though. Well she would be – she’s dead!”

   Can anyone think of any other voice-only roles he had in the series? ↩

2. “But I could see the validity of the idea from the beginning.” Surely at least partially a parody of Bow Wow Wow singer Annabella Lwin? ↩

3. Because I am sensible and grown up, I decided to use a picture of her as a nurse, rather than one of her in bondage gear. Thank you/Apologies. ↩

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