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Bad Teenager

Life / TV Comedy

It’s funny, the things you remember. The things you remember when everything else surrounding is a dull haze. Standing out in the middle: a conversation with someone who I used to know at primary school, but saw less often now I was at secondary.

I can’t even remember how old I was. I got into Red Dwarf in 1994 when I was 13, so it must have been after then. A couple of years later? We’d talked about the show before, anyway. And then once, during a normal conversation, he suddenly informed me that he didn’t like Red Dwarf any more. He’d grown out of it, you see. The show was for kids.

I was confused. I mean, the show definitely wasn’t made for kids. Even forgetting its teenage audience, the show was clearly made for adults. But he was adamant. He’d grown out of the show, and – by heavy implication – I was a baby for still liking it. Oh well.

Looking back, that was the moment when I realised that some people won’t be honest with you about this stuff. That some people will worry more about how they look, than about what they like.

This guy’s contempt for a show he used to enjoy was just teenage posturing.

*   *   *

A few years later, I was standing in a bowling alley, attempting to be an American teenager. I was in a group. A… mixed group.

Somehow, the conversation got onto the Spice Girls. My best friend slagged off “Mama”. I was confused.

“But I thought you said you liked that one!”

Awkward silence. My friend was livid. But I fancy that even the girls thought I hadn’t really played ball with society’s expectations.

I never was very good at that pesky teenage posturing.

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Dear Diary

Internet / Meta

Some things I write would be better left unread, buried at the bottom of a drawer, thrown into the sea, and then blown up by an naval mine. This is one of them. If you’re really interested in my thoughts about where Dirty Feed might be going over the next year or so, by all means grab a cup of tea and settle down.

If you’re not, then don’t worry: something fun about The Young Ones will be along before you know it.1

[Read more →]


  1. Seriously. An off-air of something from 1984 which has been lost for years popped through my letterbox the other day. 

Design for Creation

Internet

A shade over two years ago, someone’s personal website had a very high profile redesign. Well, high profile among a certain kind of Very Online web design crowd, anyway. And that gang were falling over themselves to praise it. A “lovingly hand-carved redesign”, one person called it. “New, gorgeous, funky-fresh”, said another. It caused a stir for good reason: it really was was an interesting, bold piece of work. In a world where so many have abandoned their own little place on the web, it really did stand out a mile.

A year ago, it stopped updating. The person who designed it is still around, and still regularly posts on Twitter. But their site – launched in a blaze of glory – is essentially dead.

*   *   *

No, I’m not going to name the person, or their website. The specific example isn’t important. Let’s talk about me instead.

Earlier this year, I launched the current design of Dirty Feed. Throughout the design process, I had plenty of ideas which I considered, and then rejected. Many of these involved grids of pictures, much like the current design of Anil Dash’s site. Other ideas involved splitting my writing into two types: longer “Articles”, and shorter “Notes”, much like the old Noise to Signal that I designed over a decade ago. The idea being: give more prominence to the really big pieces on here, without them being shoved aside too easily by the smaller blog posts.

In the end, I abandoned both ideas, for very similar reasons. In terms of just going with one huge picture grid for the front page, I just don’t think they really work when you have shorter posts too. A clickthrough picture for a tiny blog post feels over-egged and wrong, selling it as something bigger and more important than it actually is.

As for splitting my writing into two types, that superficially feels like a much better idea. But then I thought a little more about how I write. Something like this is clearly a long article, and something like this is clearly a short blog post. But what about this piece, which sits in a weird hinterland between the two: too short to be a full article, but too long for a tiny blog post?

In the end, I abandoned both ideas entirely, in favour of a more traditional front page layout. Maybe it’s not stunningly exciting, but I’m not forced to either shrink my writing to fit a blog post, or expand it to be a proper article. Each piece of writing can be exactly the length it needs to be, without forcing it into a shape that it doesn’t fit.

My point is obvious. That when designing your personal site, don’t design for how you wish you wrote. Design for how you actually write. A good design isn’t there for people to coo over for being bold and original; a good design helps you write and publish.1 And a bad design is one which gets in the way, and makes sharing your ideas difficult.

And why does this matter? Let’s go back to the “hand-carved redesign” which opened this piece. The overall reaction from the Very Online web designer crowd was: “How great that people are moving away from social networks and back to their own place on the web. It’s important to have ownership of your own work.” Which I 100% agree with.

But unless you keep your site updated with your thoughts and ideas, having your own place on the web doesn’t really mean that much. It doesn’t have to be updated every day, every week, or even every month, especially. But I don’t think it’s unfair to say that a site lying stagnant for a year isn’t going to be fresh and exciting, no matter how funky your design is.

If you do that, no wonder people will just stick to Twitter to keep up with what you’re doing.


  1. Or upload images and publish, or link to podcasts and publish. Whatever it is that you make. 

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A Few Random Thoughts on 2point4 children

TV Comedy

What is the first thing that comes into your head when I say 2point4 children to you?

There is one obvious answer. “Great show, which never got the credit it deserved.” I’ve heard this said over and over in different ways. And I don’t think it’s wrong, per se.

But whenever I’ve talked about the show over the years – on Twitter and elsewhere – I’ve found something slightly different. So many people have told me that it was… erm, a great show, which never got the credit it deserved. Moreover, enough people watched it and loved it at the time that it managed to rack up eight series.

At some point, does it not stop becoming a great show which never got the credit it deserved, and merely become a great show?

Of such questions are comedy flame wars made. The answer, of course, is that it depends which people you hang around with. And it proves the risk of generalising about the kind of reaction to any given show. Among plenty of my friends, I’m not sure 2point4 children even needed any reappraisal when it was made available on iPlayer earlier this year. It got the right appraisal from them at the time.

If that isn’t a universal truth either, then we should be wary of trusting any one narrative of the show. There are a million of them.

[Read more →]

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I Hope I Never Post Anything Which Mentions Elon Musk Ever Again

Internet

John Gruber, on the report that under Musk’s (potential) ownership, people on the left are leaving Twitter:

“Conservative-leaning users joining (or re-joining) Twitter in anticipation that under Musk’s ownership, Twitter will be more to their liking makes some sense. I don’t really get why liberal-leaning users are deleting or deactivating their accounts now, though. Nothing has changed. We don’t know what will change. It seems so defeatist, which, alas, is on-brand for the active-on-Twitter left.”

There are plenty of reasons I could give here why I think some people consider Elon Musk owning Twitter to be a tipping point. And I’m sure it would all be very justifiable, and that tipping points always look weird in isolation anyway, and all that jazz.

I do wonder whether we have something else here though, at least in part. A fair few people are sick of Twitter, for a million and one different reasons. I know I am. To take just one example of many: a steady stream of misery being pelted into my eyeballs on a daily basis – even from people who I agree with – doesn’t do me any good at all. I get enough exposure to misery elsewhere.

See also: shitbags popping up into my mentions and causing me trouble. Which has happened to me literally this evening. I don’t need it. I got enough of that in the playground three decades ago.

I think some people are seeing Elon Musk’s acquisition1 as a jumping off point. That it isn’t just about what the platform will or will not become. It’s just that they dislike Musk, and it’s a good excuse to cut something out of their lives which they no longer enjoy, but has become a habit.

Gruber again:

“I also don’t get deleting your account. Why not just stop using Twitter for now, but keep your account in case you change your mind down the road?”

I used to say this all the time. In fact, I used to make fun of people deleting their accounts – even temporarily – only to then reappear. “Just stop posting for a bit. Anything else looks attention-seeking.”

And then I realised that if I wanted to take a break from Twitter, but didn’t deactivate my account, it was much harder for me to do. Deactivating Twitter for a month put in that extra barrier which forced me to step away. The same will be true for people wanting to leave the service for good: it simply makes it less easy to pop back and get sucked in again.

It’s worth noting: I think the above makes me sound like a dickhead. The idea that I struggle to step away from Twitter for a bit without deactivating it seems completely ridiculous, when written down. What, am I really that addicted to the site, when it gives me so much misery sometimes?

Erm, it seems I am. And maybe that’s yet another reason to step away from it for good.


  1. Probable acquisition? Potential acquisition? Who the hell knows? 

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Back to Basie

TV Comedy

Some people probably think I compile lists of recording dates for sitcoms in lieu of having anything interesting to say about them. These people are entirely correct.

Nonetheless, as I’ve just had a delightful time watching the whole run on iPlayer, let’s take a look at Series 1 of Andrew Marshall’s brilliant 2point4 children.

Episode RX TX
Leader of the Pack 21/4/91 3/9/91
Saturday Night and Sunday Morning 11/8/91 10/9/91
When the Going Gets Tough
the Tough Go Shopping
18/8/91 17/9/91
Love and Marriage 25/8/91 24/9/91
Dirty Bowling 1/9/91 1/10/91
Young at Heart 8/9/91 8/10/91

The above are the main audience record dates for the series. Location work for the pilot was done between 10th – 12th April 1991, and location for the rest of the five episodes was done between 15th – 27th July 1991.

There are a few things to note about the above. Firstly: yes, “Leader of the Pack” was a genuine pilot, shot nearly four months before the rest of the series. This pilot was shot in the main Studio A at Pebble Mill, before the show moved down to TV Centre for the rest of the programme’s run.

[Read more →]

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Shame.

Internet

I’ve written many times in the past about how I think people should keep their website archives online. In fact I’ve talked about it to the point of obnoxiousness, and then far beyond that. About how old stuff can suddenly become found and loved, about the history of the web disappearing, about what remains of the public record, about accidentally destroying a web community, about losing memories… or simply about letting things live.

It’s all true. But today I want to talk about another reason I feel so strongly about this. A reason I haven’t really touched on before, but I think is one of the most important of all.

Take a look at this interview from 2013, with designer Frank Chimero. It’s actually worth reading in full; it touches on many interesting topics. For instance, I highly identify with this:

“I think I’m similar to a lot of other creative people in that I’m deeply uncomfortable with attention. It’s one of those things where if you gain any attention, you start to subconsciously — or maybe even consciously — make creative choices to have people stop paying attention to you. […]1

Attention creates expectations that feel like a saddle. And most horses buck the first time a saddle is put on them. It is a natural inclination. Maybe it’s immature behavior to want to shake off other people’s expectations? I don’t know. But, if I’m really honest about where I am creatively, that’s what I want to do — I just want to buck.”

This reminds me very much of when I decided I didn’t want to write about sitcoms for a while, because somebody mildly hinted that was all they enjoyed about my writing. It also reminds me that whenever this place gets attention for something beyond my usual audience – my Yes Minister piece last year, for instance – I feel a disconcerting mix of pleasure and uncomfortableness. Is my lack of a really popular article on Dirty Feed so far this year down to luck, people having less time for my nonsense as the world opens up again… or my choice?

But there’s another part of this interview which I can’t quite get on board with.

[Read more →]


  1. All the quotations in this article are edited a little to avoid the back-and-forth with the interviewers, which works brilliantly in the piece itself, but less well when quoting from it. I hope I’ve been fair with my edits, but it’s worth reading the full interview to capture the true flavour of the conversation. 

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Police I.Q. Shocker

TV Comedy

In a surprising move, today we’re going to take another look at The Young Ones. But this little tale is a good example of how researching old TV shows can lead you down an alley you never really expected.

Let’s join Mark Arden and Stephen Frost as a couple of gormless policemen in “Boring” (TX: 23/11/82).

As the picture dissolves into the newspaper headline, anyone who has been following my recent nonsense knows what’s coming next. What newspaper did they use as a basis for the prop, and what original story did the “Police I.Q. Shocker” headline replace?

The Guardian newspaper - lead headline Police I.Q. Shocker

Unlike our previous examples, this one is pretty straightforward. There’s no replaced or altered mastheads here. Not only is the paper an actual copy of The Guardian, but the correct date of the edition is visible, clear as a bell: August 3rd 1982.

Which means finding the original front page of the paper is easy:

Full front page of The Guardian Tuesday August 3rd 1982

The only story the production team changed was the middle one; everything else on the page is identical. The replaced story concerned Philip Williams, a soldier who turned up alive after six weeks, having been presumed dead fighting in the Falklands. In fact, now we know this, the line “was missing, presumed dead” is clearly visible in the broadcast episode, underneath the new headline.

[Read more →]

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I Hope You’re Satisfied, Thatcher

TV Comedy

Some days, I like to lead you all carefully into another tale of a sitcom production oddity. Other days, I like to throw a load of recording dates at you, and leave you to fend for yourself.

Guess which one this is. Let’s take a look at when Series 2 of The Young Ones was actually made.

Episode RX TX
Sick 23-24/1/84 12/6/84
Cash 30-31/1/84 15/5/84
Nasty 6-7/2/84 29/5/84
Bambi 14-15/2/84 8/5/84
Time 19-20/4/84 5/6/84
Summer Holiday 24-25/4/84 19/6/84

Two of those dates are not like the others. What was a fairly standard weekly production schedule for the first four episodes, suddenly has a gap of two months, before the last two episodes “Time” and “Summer Holiday” were recorded. What gives?

Those of you familiar with the BBC strikes around this time will already have guessed the problem. Luckily, we have a contemporary report from The Times by David Hewson, which explicitly states what happened, and that it specifically affected The Young Ones:

“The BBC faces a great log jam of unfinished drama and light entertainment programmes as the strike by 700 sceneshifters enters its fourth week.

Its effects on broadcasts are minimal, but the strike could lead to a severe shortage of home-produced plays and shows if it continues.

Postponed programmes include the latest Shakespeare production Titus Andronicus, three plays of the month, a new series of The Young Ones, the Kenny Everett Television Show, and a Ronnie Corbett comedy Sorry.

The director of resources for BBC Television, Mr Michael Checkland, has written to all television staff giving a warning that the corporation will not contemplate a return to work under the old working arrangements demanded by the strikers.”

The Times, “BBC drama delayed by scenery strike”, March 13th 1984

This particular strike is well-known by Top of the Pops aficionados, as it affected the on-screen look of the show, with a vastly reduced set. The strike’s effects on The Young Ones are far less known about – in fact, it’s not widely-known that the strike had any impact on the show at all. And why should it be? This isn’t a Top of the Pops situation – the show ended up being produced unscathed.

Well, more or less unscathed, anyway. Let’s prod a bit deeper.

[Read more →]

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Website Says No

Meta / TV Comedy

If I was really interested in getting hits here on Dirty Feed, I would write a long series of articles detailing every last edit made to the new iPlayer version of Little Britain.

Ostensibly, it’s exactly in this site’s ballpark. Edits made to old comedy shows? I’ve dabbled once or twice in that topic. It’s something that deeply interests me. Why they are made, who has the right to make them, what the end result on any given show is. With the edits made to Little Britain being part of the news agenda right now, I imagine I could write something which would end up being the most popular thing I’ve ever written on the site. It seems an obvious thing to do.

I ain’t touching this one with a bargepole.

Sure, in terms of subject matter, it’s absolutely the kind of thing Dirty Feed would cover. But in terms of everything else, it’s as far away from anything I want to publish as you can get. Over the last two years especially, I’ve aimed to make this site some kind of calm retreat from the nonsense you get elsewhere. In particular, I took pride in updating this site with free, fun stuff during the height of the pandemic. It just felt like the right thing to do.

Little Britain edits aren’t a calm retreat from anything. They’re shrill, and in the news. And if I wrote about them on here, I would get swarms of bad faith arguments of all persuasions battering this site something rotten. Even if I thought what I had to say about the topic was valuable, I 100% cannot face turning this site into something which will attract that kind of attention. The thousands of hits I would get would absolutely not be worth it.

This is also why I never wrote anything about the edits made to “The Germans” episode of Fawlty Towers either. I have a great number of opinions about that – probably enough to piss everybody off – but I think this website might be a bit more useful as place away from that kind of thing. If the only opinions you have about edits made to comedy consist of the squawking you get in some areas of the media or on Twitter, then this place isn’t really for you. And the people I might convert to the cause to look at things a bit deeper wouldn’t be worth sticking my head into the shitstorm. I’ll stick to Thin Blue Line edits, thanks.

So if you think a place which avoids that kind of thing is valuable, and you like anything I’ve written on here, then I’m grateful for anything you can do to spread the word about this site. Whether it’s on Twitter, Facebook, or rude messages daubed on bus shelter walls. It’s difficult to get noticed if you deliberately stay away from the heat… but I like to think that’s a worthwhile thing to do sometimes. And not just for my mental health. Talking about stuff other people aren’t talking about has its own rewards.

As for Little Britain… well, maybe I’ll write something about it in twenty years, when nobody cares any more. Anyone interested in the toned-down BBC One edits of Series 3 that most people have forgotten about?