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Drop The Dead Donkey: George’s Wedding?

Published 26th March 2021

TV Comedy

There is something very suspicious about Series 4 of Drop the Dead Donkey, you know. And it involves poor old downtrodden news editor George Dent.

For years, we’ve heard about his dreadful life with Margaret, his wife. About her cruelty towards him, about her affairs, about him having to go and sleep alone in the attic… and about how she eventually divorces him. This comes to a head early in the aforementioned Series 4, with “The Day of the Mum” (TX: 13/10/94). The day Margaret remarries.

Except brilliantly, rather than resulting in more misery for George, the episode culminates with his delicious revenge instead:

DAVE: Oh no, let me get this straight. You hired a beautiful call girl to accompany you to your ex-wife’s wedding just to rub her nose in it, and then you got this woman to make a pass at the groom… and ruined their wedding day. That’s what you did, isn’t it George?
GEORGE: Yes. That’s what I did. And it was the best £2000 I have ever spent.

Indeed, for a while, things begin to look up for George. In “Helen’s Parents” two weeks later, he’s met someone new. And not some “sad old spinster who’s picked up George because her favourite Labrador’s died”, as Henry so delicately puts it. She’s gorgeous.

GEORGE: I’d like you all to meet Anna, everybody.
ANNA: I am very pleased to meet you all.
GEORGE: Anna is from Poland.
ANNA: But now my English is quite good. One day I hope to even understand Loyd Grossman.

In case you thought the show would let George be happy for long, you are very much mistaken.1 The very first time we see her alone with George in his office – “This is my wall planner – where I plan things… on my wall” – we are immediately suspicious of Anna’s reactions. The show doesn’t leave us with much mystery about her intentions towards him.

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  1. Unlike in real life, where Jeff Rawle ended up marrying Nina Marc, who plays Anna, in 1998. And they’re still together. Awwwww. ↩

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Talking Stock: Hi-de-Hi’s Opening Titles

Published 18th March 2021

TV Comedy

Out of all the many great things about Hi-de-Hi!, one of my very favourites is how the show achieves such an achingly specific sense of period.

Part of that is the beautiful location filming, at Warner’s Holiday Camp in Dovercourt. Part of that is because Jimmy Perry lived and breathed this world, rather than spending his whole life indoors attempting to become a writer. And part of that is the brilliant theme music, which – much like the Dad’s Army theme – sounds like something which was sung at the time.

But alongside the strains of “Holiday Rock” is another, less-talked about means of establishing exactly when we are. Look past the close-up of Paul Shane’s face in the opening titles, and stock footage – mostly from the late 50s – plays in the background. A quadrant of key historical events of the time. And that same footage was used from Hi-de-Hi!‘s pilot in 1980, right through to its last episode in 1988.1

So, where is this footage from? The answer is contemporary newsreels, mostly from the late 1950s, from outfits like Pathé and Visnews. And helpfully, the paperwork for the Hi-de-Hi! pilot lists every single one of the newsreels used, along with their catalogue number. So I thought it would be fun to try and trace every newsreel clip used in the opening titles, and find the full versions of each online. That, to me, seems like a worthwhile way of spending my life. I presume, if you’re still reading this article, that reading such a thing seems a worthwhile way of spending your life too.

First, the good news. I’ve managed to identify every single historical event depicted in the opening titles, and trace a good number of the original newsreels, especially when it comes to the Pathé material. On the other hand, even with the original paperwork, some of this material has been impossible to find. Exactly why is a bit of a story in itself, and I’ll explain along the way.

So take a trip with me now to 1959…

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  1. The opening was amended in 1984 to accommodate Simon Cadell leaving the show, but the background footage remained the same. ↩

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The Most Exciting VT Clock in the World

Published 15th March 2021

TV Comedy

I have so many things piled up, just waiting for me to find the time to watch. High on that list is Angels, which I’ve promised someone I’ll give a proper go, after they took the time to watch Tenko on my recommendation.

So, instead, I’ve… started my umpteenth rewatch of Drop the Dead Donkey. Oh well, whatever. We’re in the middle of a pandemic, I need my comforts. And you deserve your comforts as well. If you spend any kind of time reading this site at all, hopefully you’ll enjoy this little observation.

Let’s take a brief look at the final episode of Series 1, “The Big Day” (TX: 11/10/90). We’re not going to tackle the main plot, about whether it’s Henry or Sally who gets to interview Margaret Thatcher. Instead, we’re going to concentrate on the episode’s chorus: a friendly, if mildly irritating electrician.

Or more specifically, what’s on the monitor behind him. Surely that’s not…

Electrician with VT clock in the background
Close-up of VT clock


DROP THE DEAD DONKEY
INSERT 17
SHOW 10 INSERT A
AFRICA

Amazing. And just in case you thought that might be any old Drop the Dead Donkey VT clock, “The Big Day” is Show 10. And the very first VT insert of the show is indeed set in Africa, where Damien tempts a young child with chocolate before smacking them round the head to induce the requisite crying:

Child in truck
Child after just having been hit by Damien


Clearly, the team needed something technical to route to the monitor on-set in order to look the part, and just chose the output of the VTR machine used to play in the pre-records… hoping that we wouldn’t be looking too closely. They clearly thought I’d have better things to do in 31 years time. They were incorrect.

I can’t be arsed trying to identify the other 16 inserts used throughout the series, though. What, do you think I’m sad or something?

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How to Write Your Very Own Dirty Feed Article

Published 1st March 2021

Meta

Just follow this easy template:

  • You thought <something interesting but well-worn> about <an old sitcom>, didn’t you
  • But had you considered <something boring but at least obscure>
  • By the way, that’s exactly like this bit in Red Dwarf

Sprinkle liberally with “however”, and serve for between 300 – 2500 hits.

Roughly 3,000 Words on Yes Minister Pilot Edits

Published 28th February 2021

TV Comedy

When discussing the origins of Yes Minister, one story seems to loom above all: a nervous BBC delaying the series until after the 1979 election. The following version of this tale, told by writer Jonathan Lynn, seems a good a place to start as any. On that pilot recording:

“That Sunday, we recorded the show. I had asserted, with a confidence I did not wholly feel, that it would get laughs. Neither of us1 quite expected the gales of laughter which came from the studio audience that night. John Howard Davies lost little time in commissioning three more scripts, to make the first series of seven. Then we waited, and waited… and waited.

The Winter of Discontent approached and government all but broke down, and the BBC refused to transmit the first series until after the forthcoming election, which turned out to be not until 1979. They were scared that it would be seen as improperly influencing the election. Finally, three years after we had first proposed the show to the BBC, we went on the air in February 1980.”

Jonathan Lynn, “Comedy Rules”, p. 107

Perhaps Lynn can be accused of indulging of some spin of his own here. I’m willing to take him at his word that it was three years since he and Jay had proposed the series to the BBC, but that isn’t the real point when it comes to this particular delay. The heavy implication in the line about the election not being “until 1979” is surely that the pilot was made in 1978; otherwise, why not say “later that year”?

In fact, the pilot of Yes Minister was shot on… the 4th February 1979, a year before it was broadcast on the 25th February 1980. The election clearly caused a delay, but perhaps not for as long as Lynn indicates here.

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  1. Lynn is referring to his co-writer Anthony Jay here. ↩

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Cambridge 1959

Published 19th February 2021

TV Comedy

Right now, I’m deep in the middle of researching the stock footage used in the opening and closing titles of Hi-de-Hi!. Which, I’m sure you will all agree, is the best possible thing I could be doing with my life.

So as a little taster: have you ever wondered exactly where the footage which opens the pilot comes from, which the caption proudly proclaims is “Cambridge 1959”?1

Tough, I’m going to tell you anyway. I can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that it was taken from this short 1957 Pathé travelogue, called Cambridge Backs.

Which starts with a mild admonishment of the audience, because of course it does.2

Wait, so that was shot in 1957, but Hi-de-H! claims they’re showing Cambridge in 1959? MORE OUTRAGEOUS BBC LIES, CANCEL THE LICENCE FEE.

  1. Incidentally, the music used on Hi-de-Hi! for this sequence is a specially recorded organ version of “Gaudeamus Igitur”. ↩

  2. “Silly to be nervous.” ↩

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Wally Who, What, When, Where, Why?

Published 15th February 2021

Radio Comedy

It’s odd, the things which can become obscured so easily.

Take Wally Who?, an early Grant Naylor radio sitcom from 1982, which I’ve written a bit about recently. It is not, to be fair, a series which is currently part of the pop culture zeitgeist. I am not expecting to find huge screeds written about the show in Digital Spy, nor am I expecting BBC Sounds to commission Obsessed With… Wally Who? But there are certain things which you think would be easy enough to nail down.

For instance: the number of episodes of the programme broadcast. That’s fairly basic. In fact, it might be the single most basic fact you could expect to know about a series. And yet every source online seems to have a different answer.

The BBC website lists 5 episodes. My old hangout Ganymede & Titan says 10 episodes. radiohaha also says 10, although erroneously gives the network as Radio 4 rather than Radio 2. The British Comedy Guide gives 5 episodes. Rob Grant himself says 8 were commissioned. Somebody even sent me a copy of what is listed internally at the BBC; they have 5 episodes, although the last one is confusingly labelled Episode 6.

What the bloody hell is going on?

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“Arg.”

Published 3rd February 2021

Radio Comedy / TV Comedy

Today, I have another story for you. And like all the best stories, it starts with the DVD menu for At Last Smith & Jones: Vol. 1.

Smith & Jones main DVD menu
Smith & Jones Series 4 DVD menu


At Last Smith & Jones: Vol. 1 is a slightly odd but extremely watchable Best Of release for the duo, released in 2009. It comprises of material from all four series of the BBC2 incarnation of the show – two episodes per series, making a total of eight compilation episodes – along with the complete 1987 and 1988 Xmas specials.1 None of these compilation shows have end credits of their own, just a BBC logo and a copyright date – everyone who originally worked on the show is listed on the separate credits elsewhere on the DVD.

And as I was reading those DVD credits for Series 4, a certain part of my brain sparked into life.

DVD credits - featuring Rob Grant
DVD credits - featuring Doug Naylor


A consequence of hanging around in Red Dwarf fandom for too long is a minor obsession with early Rob Grant and Doug Naylor material. I knew they had written stuff for The Grumbleweeds and Jasper Carrot, but I never knew they had written anything for Smith & Jones. And yet there were their names, large as life.

What the hell did they write?! I had to know. Time for some investigation.2

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  1. Sadly, Vol 2. – intended for material from their six series over on BBC1 – never made it to the shelves. ↩

  2. Investigating this, investigating that. General investi… sorry, force of habit. ↩

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Carré On Screaming

Published 29th January 2021

Film / TV Drama

Here’s something touching, from the official Stanley Kubrick Twitter account1:

That message, from le Carré:

“Dear Stanley – Just maybe, this time?”

Kubrick, in his reply:

“Unhappily, the problem is still pretty much as I fumbled and bumbled it out to you on the phone yesterday. Essentially: how do you tell a story it took the author 165,000 (my guess) good and necessary words to tell, with 12,000 words (about the number of words you get to say in a two hour movie, based on 150wpm speaking rate, less 30% silence and action) without flattening everybody into gingerbread men?”

There is a very interesting debate to be had about this. Let’s check out what John Gruber, avowed fan of Kubrick, thinks:

“I am reminded of the fact that Alfred Hitchcock argued that short stories make for better source material for movies than novels. (Stephen King’s oeuvre seems to prove that rule.) But today’s world of prestige TV opens new door to long, deep, mature adaptations.

Le Carré’s The Night Manager, the novel Kubrick so obviously enjoyed but argued couldn’t be made into a good two-hour film, was in fact adapted for the screen in an excellent 2015 series2 - 6 one-hour episodes - directed by Susanne Bier, written by David Farr, starring Hugh Laurie, Tom Hiddleston, Elizabeth Debicki, and Olivia Colman.”

Hmmmm.

Recently, I watched Tinker Tailor Solider Spy. No, not the 2011 film – the extraordinarily well-regarded 1979 BBC serial. Seven episodes, 40-50 minutes each, running a total of a shade over five hours.3 And, if we really care about such things, it was shot entirely on film, and featured yer bona fide film star in the lead role.

Afterwards, I watched 1982’s Smiley’s People. Six episodes, an hour each. Both serials were recently re-released on Blu-ray, and neither serial is obscure in the slightest. And both serials also got an airing in the US.

None of this required us to wait for “today’s world of prestige TV”.

Gruber:

“Anyway, Kubrick’s Napoleon as a 10-hour drama. My god. What could have been.”

I prefer to look at what we’ve actually had. For decades.

  1. I find “the official Stanley Kubrick Twitter account” an odd phrase to write. A bit like J. D. Salinger hosting Salinger Tonight or something. ↩

  2. Actually, 2016. ↩

  3. At least, the UK version does. The US version is re-edited to six episodes, runs a shade under five hours, and apparently reorders some scenes as well as trimming things a little. I’m sadly not aware of any article which discusses the differences between the two versions in detail; I’ll have a crack at writing about this one day if nobody else does. ↩

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SYCOPHANT!

Published 27th January 2021

Meta

I have to admit, it’s been a slightly odd last few days. Having just written an article about The Young Ones which people really responded to on Twitter, I managed to follow it up with… erm, another article about The Young Ones which people really responded to on Twitter. Thank you, everyone. Although I have a nasty feeling that I’ve just published the most interesting stuff I’ll do all year in sodding January.

Still, for those of you who are vaguely interested in updates about this place, I realised recently that I never actually explained the current situation with my Twitter accounts. So if you wish to follow me on Twitter – and I do realise there is no guarantee this is the case – here are your two options:

  • @mumoss – This is my personal account. Follow this if you want every single stupid thought that comes into my stupid head, along with links to my articles on here.
  • @dirtyfeed – The official site account. In general, this won’t post anything original, but simply retweets links to articles from the @mumoss account. In other words, if you only want to know about site updates, rather than my general bullshit, follow this one instead.

You can also subscribe to the RSS feed if you’re of a mind, although I suspect if you care about that, you’ve already found it.

One thing you will note is that I don’t have is any kind of Facebook presence whatsoever. Partly because I want to claim the moral high ground, and partly because I only really have time for one social media platform at a time, and – for good or for ill – that’s Twitter right now. Though I wouldn’t object if anybody wants to help me out and post the odd link to my stuff on Facebook every now and again. My moral high ground isn’t that high. Or moral.

Anyway, thanks again for all your comments, likes, retweets, and so on. I really do appreciate it. Hopefully there’s some other fun stuff to come this year, both Young Ones-related and otherwise. Maybe I’ll even follow through with my threat, and find the VHS recording I made in the late 90s, tricking 10 minutes of free porn out of my analogue cable box.

What else would you rather watch, come on now?