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Smashie’s Saturday Smiles

TV Comedy

INSPECTOR FOWLER: We have all seen the musical Oliver, and are familiar with the images of jolly, apple-cheeked urchins in big hats. Well, dispel this cozy impression. The Artful Dodger was a thief, and I don’t think he’d have considered himself quite so “at home” in a juvenile detention centre, which is where I’d have put him. Thieving is thieving. And no amount of “oom-pah-pah” or “boom-titty-titty” will change that. An Englishman’s pockets are his castle.

CONSTABLE KRAY: More like his pocket billiard room.

INSPECTOR FOWLER: Detective Constable Kray, there is a place for fatuous, flippant, would-be humorous inanities, and that place is on Noel’s House Party.

The Thin Blue Line, “The Queen’s Birthday Present”
TX: 13th November 1995

Here’s a question. How many overt parodies of Noel’s House Party can you name? Ones that go beyond the very amusing Thin Blue Line joke above1, and actually start tearing the show apart properly?

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  1. It is notable how much the studio audience in The Thin Blue Line enjoys the gag. 

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Steve Wright (1954–2024)

Radio

Back in 2011, The Mirror published a hit piece on Steve Wright. I’m not going to link to it, and I’m not going to extensively quote from it. Indeed, you may wonder why I’d even bring it up on the day his death has been announced.

I’ll just give you the short version: they called him a fat loner.

It was obviously deeply unpleasant. But I wondered: how was he going to deal with is on his next Radio 2 show? Make a big thing of it, and you look weird and over-sensitive, despite how nasty it was. Maybe it’s best to ignore it entirely… but that’s a little weird too. Elephants in the room are bad things, whether you’re responsible for the elephant or not.

So I tuned in, wondering what he was going to do. The opening music starts up, the big cheer. Steve introduces himself, as usual. Then a pause.

And then, muttered under his breath: “I’m so lonely…”

Then on with the show.

Perfect.

Smashie and Nicey – the End of an Era: Music Guide

TV Comedy

Nicey listening to music on headphones

What exactly is Smashie and Nicey – the End of an Era?

One of the endless joys of the show is that it’s many things. A parody of a certain kind of DJ, of course. Also a pastiche of a certain kind of documentary. But it’s also a trawl through decades of British light entertainment: a macrocosm of a particular strand of British culture.

With that in mind, it’s no surprise that the show is absolutely stuffed to the gills with music, of all different kinds. Some of them obvious, others obscure. Wouldn’t it be nice if somebody sat and worked out exactly where everything came from?

What, you want me to do it? Fine.

All times given are for the broadcast version of the show, although I’ve also noted any significant music changes made for the extended VHS edit. For any music which is taken from archive footage, I’ve provided very minimal details here; a companion article detailing all the stock footage used in the show is in the works.

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A Tedious Update on Dirty Feed’s Social Media Presence Which You Can Safely Ignore

Meta

a) Last year, I was trying to keep four separate social media accounts active: Twitter/X, Mastodon, Threads, and Bluesky. I can’t be bothered with any of that, so I’ve binned off the first three.

b) Just follow me on Bluesky @dirtyfeed.org. I’m not completely in love with Bluesky, but I like it more than anything else right now.

c) If you’re not on Bluesky, you can subscribe to Dirty Feed’s RSS feed here, or subscribe to my newsletter here, which will get you all the good stuff.

d) My Twitter/X account @mumoss is technically still active, but I don’t post on it publicly any more, and only use it for DMs. Consider @dirtyfeed to no longer be in use for anything. When Bluesky gets DMs, I imagine I’ll get rid of Twitter/X for good.

e) Oh, you want something actually interesting? Like, I don’t know, something fun about Smashie And Nicey: The End Of An Era?

This Sunday.

“Plans Change”

Internet

Birmingham Live, 30th January 2024:

Jonnie Irwin says ‘plans change’ and issues fresh update amid cancer battle

Jonnie Irwin has said “plans change” as he issues a fresh update from his home amid his ongoing terminal cancer fight. BBC Escape to the Country and Channel 4 A Place in the Sun star Jonnie posted an update from his home amid an ongoing renovation.

Jonnie typed: “I was tempted to spray the remaining windows, but after interviewing someone that actually knows what they’re talking about I changed my plans. This more than any other Reno has been a fluid process! Check out the film we made on Morning Live on @bbciplayer, it’s worth a watch.

Birmingham Live, 2nd February 2024:

A Place in the Sun presenter Jonnie Irwin dies aged 50

A Place in the Sun presenter Jonnie Irwin has died at the age of 50. The TV presenter had been battling cancer for more than three years.

The devastating news of his death was announced on Friday (February 2). The dad-of-three ‘fought bravely’ with ‘unwavering strength and courage’, loved ones said.

A headline which deliberately tricks the audience into thinking a change in some home renovation plans is actually an update about a cancer diagnosis? I have to say, I find that to be one of the most unpleasant pieces of journalism I have read in recent years. There’s yer standard clickbait, and then there’s that.

It’s even more unpleasant when the person you’re writing about dies three days later.

And no, I ain’t linking to any of that shit.

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Click Around, Find Out

Internet

2024 is the year of the indie web and the blog. Just like 2023 was. And 2022. And 2021. In fact, how far can we stretch back?

At least ten years, and that’s without having to look very hard.

To be sure, perhaps 2024 has a little more momentum than most. There has rarely been a more high profile piece – at least in terms of getting the idea out to a wider audience – than Anil Dash’s article in Rolling Stone, “The Internet Is About to Get Weird Again”:

“Across today’s internet, the stores that deliver all the apps on our phones are cracking open, the walls between social media platforms are coming down as the old networks fail, the headlong rush towards AI is making our search engines and work apps weirder (and often worse!). But amidst it all, the human web, the one made by regular people, is resurgent. We are about to see the biggest reshuffling of power on the internet in 25 years, in a way that most of the internet’s current users have never seen before.”

Yet there is always a wrinkle when it comes to this kind of writing. Are we talking about something new, or is it already there? The headline of Anil’s seems to indicate the former, the opening hedges its bets a little, and then the rest of the article seems to indicate the latter:

“What’s more, the people who had been quietly keeping the spirit of the human, personal, creative internet alive are seeing a resurgence now that the web is up for grabs again. Take someone like Everest Pipkin, an award-winning digital artist and activist who has been making games, videos, interactive sites, and video streams all exploring the boundaries of digital culture. They evoke the open-endedness of the Nineties internet, but with the modern sensibility that comes from someone who wasn’t even born when the web browser was first invented.”

Anil goes on to give many more examples. Examples which are wider than a strictly blogging or writing mindset, but essentially all part of the same thing: the indie web.

This dichotomy – is there a potential resurgence of this kind of web, or is it already here? – keeps coming up time and time again with these kind of articles. In his piece “Where have all the websites gone?”, Jason Velazquez at first indicates the indie web has essentially died, replaced with social media:

“No one clicks a webpage hoping to learn which cat can haz cheeseburger. Weirdos, maybe. Sickos.

No, we get our content from a For You Page now— algorithmically selected videos and images made by our favorite creators, produced explicitly for our preferred platform. Which platform doesn’t matter much. So long as it’s one of the big five. Creators churn out content for all of them.”

And yet when he tries to answer the question posed in his headline, we get:

“The good news is that websites didn’t go anywhere. There are currently one billion websites on the World Wide Web. Here’s a few from my bookmarks that are amazing.”

He then proceeds to do just that.

All this is perhaps a sore point for those of us who have been plugging away at our projects online for years. We keep being told that “this is the year of the indie web”. Oh, really? Some of us never left the damn thing. I’ve been writing continuously online now on my own websites for 20 years, 14 of them right here. I published 100k of words on Dirty Feed in 2023 alone.

When Cabel Sasser decided to revive his blog last year, he wrote the following:

“My name is Cabel and you probably came here from Twitter? Maybe? For the past too-many years Twitter absorbed all of my “blogging energy” — it was so fast and efficient to dump out some random or mildly interesting thing. I liked Twitter. And I truly (mostly) enjoyed connecting with people on there. But I’m not feeling real great about the situation over there. Time to diversify.

So, here we go. 2023, the year of the blog???”

Cabel has proceeded over the past year to post some quite wonderful things, so he certainly followed through on his promise.

But for those of us who kept the faith – who always used Twitter as a scratchpad, and then wrote things up properly on our own blogs – it can feel mildly irritating. Twitter and social media in general was always a bad replacement for a place of your own where you could write. I never needed a big realisation on this score; it had always been obvious to me.

The indie web shrinking wasn’t really the fault of social media companies and other “big tech”. It was the fault of people who abandoned their own little place on the net.

Anil Dash:

“For an entire generation, the imagination of people making the web has been hemmed in by the control of a handful of giant companies that have had enormous control over things like search results, or app stores, or ad platforms, or payment systems. Going back to the more free-for-all nature of the Nineties internet could mean we see a proliferation of unexpected, strange new products and services.”

I don’t entirely disagree with this. And it’s especially relevant to people who actually want to make a living with their web projects, rather than just having fun in their spare time. But we also have to admit that anybody who deserted their corner of the web, did so by choice.

If you stopped cultivating your own website because you really liked Twitter, or because Google Reader was shut down, did you really care about it that much in the first place?

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A Proper Comedy Fan

Life / Radio Comedy / TV Comedy

I’m supposed to have grown up with radio comedy, you know. More specifically, I’m supposed to have grown up with a radio underneath my bedclothes. Ideally listening to Blue Jam, if I had been particularly with it.

I wasn’t, so I didn’t. Oh, I just about managed a Hitchhiker’s repeat, at some point in the 90s. Beyond that, there was a whole world out there which I just didn’t bother with. If the best pictures were from radio, I wasn’t really interested in them.

The obvious question is why, and I think the answer is one of love, rather than hate. I didn’t hate radio comedy; I simply didn’t listen to it. No, my love was for the telly. I distinctly remember recording every single episode of the nineties repeats of Fawlty Towers off-air; perhaps that was the start of my love of archive television, but it didn’t feel like archive television back then. It was just TV. And I loved TV. Especially sitcoms, sketch shows, and game shows.

But surely, even if I didn’t listen to radio comedy, I at least listened to the Top 40 and stuff? Not really. The radio was on at various points, but it wasn’t really my thing. My things were obvious and comfortable: when it wasn’t television, it was my computer, a BBC Master.1 Endless time spent playing games, or programming, or writing silly things on it.

I think, when I was younger, I needed visuals. That’s how I interacted with the world. Something to look at. I watched and loved The Day Today; it wasn’t that I hated On The Hour, it just wasn’t on my radar.

So when, in the early 2000s, I found a forum online, and saw everyone talking about radio comedy… I was slightly nonplussed. That’s what I was supposed to have been doing?

Nonplussed, and inadequate. I wasn’t a proper comedy fan. Damn.

*   *   *

Fast-forward to some undetermined day in the 2010s. I’m watching the bonus features on the Series 1 DVD of That Mitchell and Webb Look. And in the Making Of documentary, David Mitchell suddenly says the following:

“We’d always wanted to be on TV, ‘cos that’s where I got into comedy really, watching TV. Growing up, watching Blackadder, and Monty Python, and that kind of thing. So yeah, I’d like to say I grew up listening to Radio 4 and The Goon Show and that kind of thing, and I did have a few tapes of The Goon Show, but basically it was TV, so I’ve always wanted to be on TV. That in my own head, is where successful comedians are.”2

I grin. Because that’s me. I wasn’t stupid after all. Somebody who is very, very, very funny felt exactly the same as I had.

And that’s how a heterosexual white male can still experience that unexpected rush of feeling represented.


  1. Better than a BBC Micro. 

  2. It’s worth paying attention to exactly what Mitchell says there. He doesn’t say that successful comedians are on television rather than radio; he clearly says “in my own head”. It’s not actually true, and he knows it. He’s talking about feelings, not facts, and carefully flags it as such. 

Downtown Toontown

Animation / Film

MAROON: Look, Valiant. His wife’s poison, but he thinks she’s Betty Crocker. I want you to follow her. Get me a couple of nice juicy pictures I can wise the rabbit up with.
VALIANT: Forget it. I don’t work Toontown.
MAROON: What’s wrong with Toontown? Every Joe loves Toontown.
VALIANT: Then get Joe to do the job, ’cause I ain’t going.
MAROON: Whoa, feller. You don’t wanna go to Toontown, you don’t have to go to Toontown. Nobody said you had to go to Toontown anyway.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

It’s odd how some deleted scenes seem to take on a life of their own. Some are happily released on DVD and/or Blu-ray, but never end up being discussed much, no matter how interesting. The really obscure ones never even made the leap from LaserDisc. And yet other examples become… is “well-known” an exaggeration? Maybe. But if you’re the kind of person who does more than scrape the surface of a film, you’ll learn about them fairly quickly.

I fancy that Who Framed Roger Rabbit‘s “Pig Head” sequence is more well-known than the average deleted scene. Here’s the short version. After Valiant has hidden Roger at the Terminal Bar, the deleted section has him going back to the Ink and Paint Club to go snooping for Marvin Acme’s will. Here, he’s knocked out by Bongo the Gorilla (in a return appearance), and menaced by Judge Doom and the Weasels. They eventually dump him in Toontown, he gets a pig’s head tooned onto his own in a nasty bit of gang violence, and he ends up washing it off in the shower.1

Here we rejoin the theatrical cut, with Eddie back at his office, and Jessica’s famous “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way” scene. Originally, Eddie was meant to be stepping out the shower having just washed his toon head off; instead, the filmmakers dub the sound of a flushing toilet to hide the cut scene. It mostly works, although if you stop and think about it for a moment, you might wonder why Eddie takes his shirt off to go for a dump.

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  1. This, at least, is what was shot. As scripted, there was even more missing at this point, including the funeral of Marvin Acme, and a deleted scene with Eddie wearing the pig’s head on the Red Car. This stuff is interesting and well worthy of discussion, but outside the scope of this post. 

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Flash Frames Redux

TV Comedy

Having spent an entire year writing about flash frames in The Young Ones, you really would think I was done with the whole damn thing now. And I nearly am, I promise.

However, I have one last thing to talk about. Let’s watch the first couple of minutes of “Boring”, broadcast on the 23rd November 1982.

Here’s a fun fact which I don’t think has ever been mentioned before: the entire house sequence above, up to and including “Morning has broken”, was originally supposed to be placed before the opening titles, according to the camera script. It’s probably a good idea this was changed; Neil’s line is funny as a stupid throwaway, but placing it just before the titles would give it a weight it simply couldn’t support.

Right, enough fun, back to the flash frames. At 1:25 in the above video, something rather odd happens. We get this image, of a flying carpet, for a single frame:1

A flying rug in the hallway

What’s going on? Despite this being from Series 1, is this related to the whole Series 2 flash frames business?

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  1. Tech note: it’s a single frame in that video, deinterlacing the original material to 50fps. In fact, it was a single field in the original interlaced material. 

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