2015 • 2016 • 2017 • 2018 • 2019 • 2020 • 2021 • 2022 • 2023
“Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
Flash frames will give us all a sleepless night…”
Hey everyone. Hope you had a lovely Christmas. Welcome to this year’s round-up of all my favourite things on Dirty Feed in 2023. A year that not only saw far too many articles about flash frames, but also saw the site finally solve a sitcom mystery I’ve been investigating for years. Who needs Newsnight, anyway?
2015 • 2016 • 2017 • 2018 • 2019 • 2020 • 2021 • 2022 • 2023
I’ll tell you something, I’m utterly bored with writing depressing intros for these end-of-year articles. You know the drill. “Oh, hasn’t this year been awful, global pandemics, politics, blah blah blah, never mind, here’s the best things I’ve written this year.”
So: 2022 has been brilliant, hasn’t it? Everyone had a great time, and people couldn’t be happier. Now here’s the best things I’ve written this year.
* * *
DJs Leave Radio Fab
An in-depth look at the origins of a prop newspaper in Smashie & Nicey: the End of an Era. Well, start the year as you mean to go on. As indeed I did, with similar articles looking at prop newspapers in Red Dwarf and The Young Ones. This is an entire waste of time, and I won’t be writing any articles about this ever again. Such as the one about I’m Alan Partridge which I definitely won’t be publishing next year.
I Want Names, I Want Places, I Want Dates
For years, we’ve heard about the recording of Series 1 of Red Dwarf being abandoned due to an electricians’ strike… but we’ve never known exactly when those abandoned recording dates were. Until now. See also: how a similar strike affected The Young Ones.
A Brief History of a Doorway in Red Dwarf (1989-96)
I mean, seriously. You probably already know if you want to click on that or not. I’m not going to insult your intelligence by trying to sell it. Ditto with this piece about the sets in “Back to Reality”.
Shame.
About why you shouldn’t always feel shame about older versions of you hanging around the web, and why deleting them might not be the best idea. I write a fair bit about the web – and especially the archiving of the web – but rarely make a fuss about it, because I don’t think many people visit this site for that kind of stuff. This is one of the few pieces on this topic which actually got noticed a little.
A Few Random Thoughts on 2point4 children
I saw 2point4 children for the first time properly this year. Here are my long and rambling thoughts about it, but if you want the short version: it’s great. I’d love to write more about the series next year. In the meantime: what was the original theme tune for the pilot?
Tales From BBC North West’s Scene Dock
Here it is. The most popular article I wrote all year, about the links between Chucklevision and Red Dwarf. No, I’m not turning into a parody of myself, now why don’t you sod off?
In Search of the Golden Brain
And there’s the second most popular article I wrote all year, about the truth behind a notorious treasure hunt in the first Spitting Image book. This is the kind of investigation I’d like to write much more of next year, as it’s deeply satisfying. (And yes, I still have that vague idea of writing a Comedy Mysteries book…)
“I Don’t Need a Brolly, You Wally!”
Investigating the day that Jeffrey Fairbrother took a trip aboard the Enterprise, in one of the silliest things ever made. Thank god for old issues of TV Zone. Also this year: proving ST:TNG‘s most prolific director wrong.
Mmmm, Nice
Bizarrely, I’ve never written about Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em on here before, despite it being one of my favourite shows. So here’s a short tale about the production of Series 1 of the show… and what’s so special about the very last episode of that series. See also: proving Wikipedia wrong about the recording of Are You Being Served.
Relative Time Dilation in an Amazingly Compressed Space
Of all the more personal pieces I’ve written this year, this is my favourite. It captures just a little moment where you’re fully aware of history taking place in front of you… even if it’s really just a little piece of your own history.
That-cher
How did the BBC originally report the news of Margaret Thatcher’s resignation? And can we absolve a BBC daytime presenter of a heinous broadcasting crime? All this and some obscure 1980s production paperwork.
An Evening at Television Centre
Sneaking in at the end of the year, this ended up as one of my favourite pieces, about the pilot of In Sickness and in Health… and why I really, really wish I had a time machine.
* * *
This year has been a bit of a mixed bag. I wrote less than I did in 2021 – more individual posts, sure, but fewer words, and perhaps fewer articles I’m really proud of. On the other hand, in writing this end-of-year piece, I find I’ve actually done a little more I liked than I thought. And at least I finally got the redesign of this place done, which I’ve been putting off for years.1
Truth be told, I’ve found this year quite tough, for reasons that I don’t really want to go into. So I’ll just say: thank you if you read any of my stuff this year, especially if you sent any other visitors my way, or sent me any nice comments, or indeed helped with some of the research. Despite my troubles this year, writing in this place is one of the things which has kept me sane. The fact that other people enjoy my nonsense too makes me very happy. And I have plenty of plans for fun stuff next year.2
Oh yeah, next year. For all the obvious reasons, my desire is to use Twitter less. Hopefully a lot less. So if you want to give me a late Christmas present, then please sign up for my monthly newsletter, which is launching in January:
I guess I should really write a paragraph here to tie this whole article up and provide a climax. But having watched a quite incredible amount of Till Death Us Do Part and In Sickness and in Health over the last couple of months, I can say with some confidence that Johnny Speight didn’t always bother. So I’ll just leave this piece hanging shoddily in mid-air–
[awkward silence, audience applause]
I’m still proud of my new logo, which I must write something about next year. ↩
YES, INCLUDING FLASH FRAMES IN THE YOUNG ONES. ↩
2015 • 2016 • 2017 • 2018 • 2019 • 2020 • 2021 • 2022 • 2023
“Hi there, John. Well, 2021 was pretty damn awful.”
“No it wasn’t.”
“What? Come on, a global pandemi-“
“Yes, yes, yes, but I’ve posted loads of great stuff on Dirty Feed this year.”
“Dirty F… really? You’re going with this?”
“Let’s have a look at all the brilliant things I’ve written over the last 12 months.”
“Let’s not.”
“Tough shit.”
* * *
I’m afraid you will have to forgive a rather more indulgent format than usual for my roundup this year. I’ve done so much writing on the site – almost as much as 2019 and 2020 combined – that there’s plenty I really want to relink to. (If you just want the short version, the images link to various interesting things.)
January was meant to be a quiet month for the site, as I intended to take a bit of a break. Instead, I published one of the most popular things I’ve ever written: a look at what exactly is on the telly in an episode of The Young Ones. This pretty much set the tone for the kind of thing I ended up doing all year: investigating obscure mysteries about sitcoms. For instance: we also found out what Vyvyan really wanted to say about Thatcher.
February saw me looking into the history of an obscure piece of Grant Naylor material, in a post which pretty much defines the phrase “satisfying ending”. This was followed up by an investigation into Grant Naylor radio sitcom Wally Who?, and how obvious facts can easily become lost.1 Finally, I took a proper look at the pilot of Yes Minister, and how an assumption I’d had for years turned out to be complete bollocks.
March was the beginning of a series of articles looking at stock footage in Hi-de-Hi!. This turned out to be a lot harder than I thought it’d be, and these pieces are somewhat annoyingly incomplete. I’ll hopefully get a chance to improve on them next year. There was also this speculation about Drop the Dead Donkey which I have precisely no proof of whatsoever, but I firmly believe to be 100% true.
April saw the big one. My investigation into the authorship of one of Yes, Prime Minister‘s most well-known routines blew up in a quite ridiculous fashion, and got the site noticed well beyond its usual readership. Thank you, Popbitch. Thus it’s all the more irritating that it has to be one of the articles here which I’m least happy with. In its originally published form, it entirely missed the actual authorship of the joke, despite the fact that the real information was actually public knowledge, if you hung around on the right corner of the internet. The true story only came with the updates after publication. Oh well, what would life be, if it wasn’t utterly infuriating?
On a smaller note, but for me personally more satisfying than either the Hi-de-Hi! or Yes, Prime Minister stuff, was this piece identifying a mysterious piece of Red Dwarf footage. Some people find a mystery exciting; I think finding the actual truth is even more so.
May was my 40th birthday, so I couldn’t resist writing something rather more personal than usual. We also spent another day with The Young Ones in the studio, which is an object lesson in the dangers of hiding the most interesting thing in an article near the end. But my favourite thing this month was proving everybody wrong about when Series 1 of The Brittas Empire was shown. I love writing about The Brittas Empire. I love proving everybody wrong more.
June had two of my very favourite pieces I published all year. Firstly, there was this look at reshoots and pick-up weeks in early Red Dwarf, which puts a brand new spin on one of the most famous sequences in the whole show. Then, I investigated this extended version of the You Rang, M’Lord? pilot, which – to my knowledge – hasn’t been transmitted since 1988. Both these pieces are pretty much a mission statement for what I want the site to be.
July saw Dirty Feed’s first dive into A Bit of Fry & Laurie, with another exciting TX date discrepancy. There was also a look at a particularly noteworthy topical reference in The Young Ones. But my favourite piece – possibly my favourite thing I wrote all year, in fact – was a look into how the studios at BBC Manchester can be seen in early Red Dwarf. That piece is everything I’d like my writing to be, and don’t always manage to get there.
August had a look at deleted scenes in A Bit of Fry & Laurie, before we came to the main event: an examination of the recording dates for every single sketch in Series 1. That’s one of those articles which takes an absolute bloody age to write, and is so niche even by the standards of this site that not many people end up reading it. Oh well. It’s worth it just for the incredibly interesting revelation about which sketch in Series 1 was actually shot for the 1987 pilot.
September saw an article I’d been planning to write for literally years finally see the light of day: about a literally unbelievable claim about the viewing figures of Danger Mouse. No, I have nothing better to do than prove people’s childhood heroes INCORRECT. There was also the start of an obsession with One Foot in the Grave production minutiae, which ended up being some of the most popular things I wrote all year.
October turned out to be a ludicrously busy month. Firstly, we had Men Behaving Badly and the cut Diana joke. Then, there was possibly the most ridiculous thing about Red Dwarf ever written… well, at least, until next month. There was also the start of an analysis between the broadcast and DVD versions of The Thin Blue Line, which is mainly notable for me finally figuring out how how to edit video. (Which might come in useful next year.)
But my favourite thing all month was this poke at a oft-repeated anecdote about The Young Ones. This was something else I’d been meaning to write for ages, and finally got round to. This is one of those rare pieces where I think I might have actually scraped together some kind of real truth about a show that nobody has quite articulated before. Or maybe it’s just an excuse for a clip of a singing tomato.
November was a particularly stupid month, where I got confused and thought this site was Ganymede & Titan. Out of the four Red Dwarf pieces published this month, I finally managed to write two that I’d been banging on about on Twitter for ages: how more of the sets from Series 1 managed to last rather longer than you might think.
December saw me determined to stop the site becoming a Red Dwarf fansite… by, erm, becoming a One Foot in the Grave fansite instead. First of all we looked at how the show faked a section of ITV output, and then I investigated all of David Renwick’s cameos in the show. Finally, the site reached a violent, bloody climax at the end of the year. Lovely.
* * *
Phew. So for a year where I intended to take a bit of a break and do other things, I ended up not only publishing more on the site than ever before, but also having a significantly bigger audience than any previous year too. In fact, the site had double the number of visitors than 2020, a fact I still find faintly extraordinary.
Double the visitors requires the double the gratitude. So thank you all so much for your likes, retweets, comments, or just quietly reading the site this year. I really do appreciate it so much. The comments section on the site has been particularly active and insightful, and has corrected and improved much of what I’ve written throughout the last 12 months.
As for this site in 2022… I’m in something of a bind. Every single time I say I’m going to do something specific on this site, I do nothing. And every time I say I’m going to do nothing and take a break, I end up writing shitloads. It is beginning to get faintly ridiculous.2 My brain absolutely refuses to follow any kind of plan for this site whatsoever. In fact, it actively rebels against it.
So in 2022, I can only give you one promise: that something might or might not happen on this site at some point during the year. So you can look forward or not look forward to that at your leisure.
And you can’t say fairer than that, can you?
And still not found, incidentally. If anybody has any ideas… ↩
Still waiting for the Buffy fansites article I promised at the start of 2016? Me too. ↩
2015 • 2016 • 2017 • 2018 • 2019 • 2020 • 2021 • 2022 • 2023
“Look, I can’t pretend the last year has been much fun. It doesn’t even seem to have been much fun for all the various fuckweasels around the world considering their general mood, let alone if you’re the kind of good and decent person who appreciates in-depth articles about sitcom edits.
But that’s no reason why you can’t grab a cup of tea, stick your head in the sand for an hour, and read some of the best stuff I’ve published here over the last 12 months.”
Me, right now: can it be 2017 again, please?
Oh well. This year has been a nightmare, but over here, we’re more concerned about Knightmare. While the world has been howling outside, I managed to find the time to do some fun stuff. In fact, for the first year ever on here, I can pick out something I wrote each month which I actually like.
Let’s get to it. And if you care about the future of this site – and if you’re reading this, I presume that you do – then don’t miss the end for an IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT which is IMPORTANT, and not BORING like you think it is.
* * *
“Two dead, twenty-five to go…”
To start the year off, a little look at how a moment from Fawlty Towers first showed up in another sitcom a full decade earlier. I love tracing the origin of jokes like this, and I don’t think anybody has ever linked this example together before.
A Weekly Look at the World of Science and Technology
A mystery about Series 2 of Look Around You, finally solved after 15 years. This is what happens when my mind just doesn’t let go of something.
An Exceptionally Important Piece of Analysis About Blackadder Goes Forth
1,856 words about set reuse in Blackadder Goes Forth. Loads of people really liked this piece, which I would suggest is what happens when a country enters lockdown and goes a bit loopy.
Here’s to You, Mrs. Littlefield
By far the most popular thing I wrote all year, looking at a cut character from the pilot of Cheers. It even got picked up by The Independent, which is as much a testament to the ongoing popularity of Cheers as anything.
“Feeling Poorly Again, Are You?”
This year, I’ve written a lot about my memories of TV as a kid. This can stand in for all of them; a touching moment between me and my father, about a scene featuring sexual frustration and extreme violence.
The Young Ones Music Guide: Series 1
For years, I’ve wanted to make a soundtrack for The Young Ones, in a similar vein to this one for I’m Alan Partridge. I didn’t manage that this year, but the research for it resulted in this piece: a list of (nearly) every single piece of music used in Series 1 of the show. See also: Series 2.
Condition: Red
Probably the most personal piece I wrote all year, about a terrifying image from my childhood. This article has floated around my head for decades, so I’m pleased to finally get it down. It’s probably my favourite thing I wrote all year. Which is good, because if I’d thought about it for that long and then it sucked, that’d be really annoying.
The Dull Religious Music Programme
Ever wondered how difficult it can be to research obscure parts of TV comedy history? Wonder no more. This is why I don’t write enough; because of rabbit-holes like this.
Rescuing Bladedancer, or: The Fall and Rise of a BBC Micro Enthusiast
A very atypical piece for this site, about how I helped with the preservation of a long lost BBC Micro game from 1992. This is the thing I’ve been involved with this year that I’m proudest of.
Arnold J. Rimmer, BSc, SSc
OK, so I said at the beginning of the year I wasn’t going to do any proper writing about Red Dwarf for a while. I lasted ten months. Could have been worse. This is a good one, though, tracing an important part of the show’s mythology back to its origin.
“Faulty? What’s Wrong with Him?”
A strange tale about a Fawlty Towers misquote, and how it spread across the internet. I love that I managed to figure out 95% of the story… but sadly, not the last 5%. There’s still time to answer my email, Mr. Metro Man. There’s still time.
A Day in the Life of The Young Ones: 6th February 1984
And to round the year off, yet more bollocks about The Young Ones, taking a look at the recording of the episode “Nasty”. This was another of those pieces that I thought might get just four readers, so it was a surprise to me that it ended up one of the most popular pieces I wrote all year. You are all absurd. Thanks.
* * *
And if you’re aching for more, here’s a few other things I wrote this year that I think turned out well: memories of a terrifying film, an unfortunate echo of Paul Daniels, tracing the library music in a classic Trev & Simon sketch, a brand new fact about Father Ted, how Doctor on the Go broke the fourth wall, and failed futures in Red Dwarf.
It seems frankly tasteless to say it, but this year has been a good one for Dirty Feed. Leaving Ganymede & Titan at the start of year gave me more time to work on the site than ever before, and lockdown meant a fair few people have been starved of entertainment. The result: I’ve written more stuff on here than in any other year of the site’s existence, and it’s also been by far the most popular year the site has ever had too.1 As ever, thanks to everyone who has read, liked, and shared my stuff over the past year. I really do appreciate it. Hopefully, I at least managed to take your mind off things for a while.
But with all of that, comes a problem. I love writing things here, but I think it’s obvious that the research for some of these pieces is an absolute bastard. Most of the best stuff on Dirty Feed isn’t tossed off in an afternoon. The danger is that this place becomes a treadmill; that I spend so long researching and writing my usual kind of articles, that I never try anything new again. And much as I enjoy writing ridiculous things about sitcoms, I really am itching to try something new.
Which leads us to the big2 announcement.
From the beginning of 2021, Dirty Feed is going on hiatus, for the first time in the 11 years I’ve been publishing it. How long for, I don’t actually know yet; it depends what happens over the next few months. But for a while, I need to try something different. I’ll be working on a few projects behind-the-scenes, and hopefully some of them will be published here eventually, but don’t expect anything new on the site for quite a while. Those of you waiting for my THRILLING EXPOSÉ about how material from an unbroadcast Grant Naylor radio pilot ended up in an episode of Alas Smith and Jones are going to have to wait for a bit.
Thanks again to everyone who has been nice about the site in the past year, and let’s hope 2021 is better for all of us. For now though…
5 years • 10 years
Ten years ago today, Dirty Feed was launched.
Well, actually, that’s a lie. A site called “Transistorized” launched, named after Kenny Everett greeting his “transistorized people”. It was an obscure reference at best, born out of sheer desperation for a name. Later that year, the rather more sensible moniker of Dirty Feed was coined, and I stopped having to worry about whether the site’s name should be spelt with an ‘s’ or with a ‘z’. A full 302 posts and 226,974 words1 of ABSOLUTE GOLD later, here’s where we’ve ended up. And you know me by now: I just can’t resist a little self-indulgent look back.2
The origins of this site are simple enough. I’d been writing on a group blog called Noise to Signal which had naturally come to an end; there was a feeling from more than one of us that it was time to move on and strike out on our own. Which indicates that I must have had some sort of brilliant plan for what I wanted to do next, right?
Nah. I had no real idea at all. The one rule I had was not to become too much of a personal journal like an even earlier blog I’d written. I wanted to write about stuff, not myself.3 I’d also written a lot about web design and tech in the past, but my interests had shifted to other things during the years I wrote on Noise to Signal: towards television and comedy especially.
The plan, then, such as it was: start writing, and see what happened. I also had one other thing at the back of my mind: not to get too bogged down in perfection. Numerous times, I’d started blogs before, quickly got annoyed that they weren’t “perfect”, and deleted them. Time to stop all that. If I didn’t like the last thing I’d written, never mind: the next piece might be better. More than anything else, getting the fuck over myself in that regard is why there might be some things actually worth reading here, rather than just a blank page.
Ah, yes. Stuff worth reading. Time we got onto some of that. Here are some things I’ve done on Dirty Feed over the past ten years that I don’t feel like invoking the right to be forgotten over. One per year, in fact. And stay tuned until the end for some thoughts on where this place might go over the next decade.
As of this sentence. ↩
Bizarrely, the name change from Transistorized to Dirty Feed was never actually noted on the site; at the time, I was extremely leery of annoying “housekeeping” blog posts, having read far too many over the years. The article you are reading now may suggest that I have thrown caution to the winds these days.
In fact, my record-keeping in this area is so lax that I can’t even tell you exactly which date the site renamed itself. All I can figure out was that it was still Transistorized on the 12th September and had changed by the 4th October, according to an old email I have. Yeah, I realise that the fact I can’t narrow it down more than this – considering my obsession with archiving – is really bloody odd. ↩
That rule is going brilliantly, obviously. ↩
2015 • 2016 • 2017 • 2018 • 2019 • 2020 • 2021 • 2022 • 2023
“Hello again, John. Still doing your roundup of all the best stuff on Dirty Feed this year?”
“Yes.”
“Isn’t this being published even earlier than last year?”
“Yes.”
“Is that because you’re planning some huge masturbatory celebration of 10 years of Dirty Feed in January, and you at least want to spread out your willy waving to some kind of bearable level?”
“Yes.”
“I really hate you.”
“Yes.”
* * *
And Finally…
Firstly, a little tale of Anna Soubry presenting Central News, and some naughtiness that seemingly only I remember. (I have to admit, I was hoping a video of this might surface, especially once a few media figures retweeted the article. No luck, sadly.)
Listen. Does This Sound Familiar?
Looking at glimpses of a lost song by the Shangri-Las. I have a fondness for this as being one of the first bits of writing about music I’ve ever done; this year I’ve tried to push myself outside my comfort zone a few times with my writing, and this piece definitely qualifies. Also: listen to the Shangri-Las, do it, do it right now.1
Night Network
If there’s one thing I want this site to achieve, it’s to post things that nobody else would ever post. Whether that’s because nobody else is capable of writing something so amazing, or because nobody else would fucking bother, is a judgement call. Whatever your answer, this piece – about the nightmares TV channel directors have to endure – most definitely counts.
Identity.
In which I spin an incredibly personal anecdote from the BBC Two Toy Car ident. You heard.
KYTV: Challenge Anna
My first really substantial article of the year: a look at one of my favourite episodes of comedy ever, and exactly what changed between script and screen. (Watch out for the practical joke Geoffrey Perkins and Angus Deayton planned to play on Anneka Rice… and then chickened out on.)
Tales from a Dystopian Future
This little story is another example of how I tried to push my writing into some different areas this year. It’s certainly like nothing else on the site. It didn’t get much reaction, and I think it has its faults. But after writing the KYTV piece – which I think turned out well, but is entirely within this site’s usual ballpark – it was nice to stretch myself with something I’d never written before.
Beyond Grace Brothers
Having done a full watch of Are You Being Served? this year, I vaguely have in mind the idea to write a book on the show. This article was a test to see if I could write about the series in any kind of entertaining way. I think it turned out quite well, tackling an area of the show that I don’t think has been talked about before. (Fuck knows when I’ll have time to write that book, though.)
Fawlty at Large
Hands down my favourite thing I’ve written all year, and certainly the one to get the best reaction. This set of four articles starts off as a look at the origins of Fawlty Towers… but halfway through, turns into something else entirely, and for my money something far more interesting. John Cleese has never written anything more terrifying.2
* * *
A few other brief thoughts. I really struggled with the site at the beginning of the year, with the first four months especially yielding the odd fun post, but nothing truly substantial.3 Having realised I was going to let the year slip away entirely if I wasn’t careful, the second half of the year was a lot better, cumulating in the aforementioned set of articles which I’m thoroughly proud of. If you read nothing else I’ve written this year, I’d really like it to be that.
I’m also going to make my usual plea. I make a point of not having a tip jar or Patreon on this site; I don’t need them, and your money would be better spent on others. But if you’ve enjoyed any of my writing this year, I urge you to consider donating to the Internet Archive if you can. I realise that at a time when the UK seems to be going to shit, then they might not be the first organisation you’d think of for donations. But the Internet Archive do a great deal to hold people, organisations, and governments to account, and I think that’s more important than ever. Just $5 would mean something – especially as they currently have a 2-to-1 matching campaign running, which brings it up to $15 without you doing a thing.
That’s pretty much it for Dirty Feed this year; there will be a roundup of all my Red Dwarf writing later on this month, but aside from that, that’s your lot. Thanks to everyone who’s read, liked, or shared my stuff over the past year; I really do appreciate all your kind words. One person who takes the time to tell me they enjoyed something I wrote is worth 1000 anonymous hits. And people who clearly haven’t read what I’ve written but feel the need to tell me their ill-informed opinion about it on Twitter deserve 1000 hits.4
And as for next year… what’s this I see on the horizon? Could it be the site’s 10th anniversary? And do you really think I can resist the urge to bang on about it at length until you all escape to Digital Spy in desperation?
I think this article may be the first ever time a picture of the Shangri-Las has appeared next to the logo of Central News East. If any fact sums up what I try and do with this site, it’s this one. ↩
With thanks to Tanya Jones for inspiration and help with this; so much so, in fact, that the pieces really deserve a shared byline. ↩
Fun game: try to figure out which piece I was sure was going to be great, but I’ve since decided really isn’t, and was misguided and pointless publishing in its present form. ↩
To the face. Specifically to the face. ↩
2015 • 2016 • 2017 • 2018 • 2019 • 2020 • 2021 • 2022 • 2023
“Hey there, John. What’s this?”
“It’s a list of all my favourite articles I’ve published on Dirty Feed in 2018.”
“But don’t you usually wait until the 1st January to post that?
“Yes.”
“Just so you could anally point out that you only post your yearly roundup once the year is actually over, unlike everyone else?”
“Yes.”
“Does this mean you’re dumbing down your material to chase a more mainstream audience?”
“Yes. Could you go away now, please?”
“A mainstream audience that you’re never going to achieve, incidentally.”
“Fuck off.”
2015 • 2016 • 2017 • 2018 • 2019 • 2020 • 2021 • 2022 • 2023
Look, I can’t pretend the last year has been much fun. It doesn’t even seem to have been much fun for all the various fuckweasels around the world considering their general mood, let alone if you’re the kind of good and decent person who appreciates in-depth articles about sitcom edits.
But that’s no reason why you can’t grab a cup of tea, stick your head in the sand for an hour, and read some of the best stuff I’ve published here over the last 12 months. I will even ALLOW you a biscuit or two. Go on, meet you back here in five minutes.
The World is Burning
A piece which stood as my mission statement for the year, answering the question: in a world of Brexit and Trump, how can I justify writing about my silly obsessions, when there are more important things to talk about?
Our Little Genius
Looking back at the fate of an unbroadcast Fox game show from 2010. I really enjoyed doing this piece, and it’s quite atypical of my stuff – essentially a compilation of contemporary reports. (Though it’s a bit of a shame that the exciting conclusion is a little anti-climactic.)
‘Allo ‘Allo: Pigeon Post
An examination of the edits made to the ‘Allo ‘Allo episode shown on BBC One to commemorate the death of Gorden Kaye. (My favourite memory of that episode being repeated was how laughing at Nazis suddenly seemed massively useful again. Which is depressing, but nonetheless cathartic.)
Frasier: The Good Son
One of my favourite edits pieces I’ve ever written – all about what was cut from the pilot of Frasier between script and screen. When you’re writing about such an amazing half hour of comedy as the Frasier pilot, it’s incumbent on you to actually do the show justice. I really hope I did.
The only post on the internet which uses McDonald’s to talk about the intricacies of television playout
The clue is in the title. I love writing this kind of article, as it’s the kind of thing nobody else really writes about online, and hopefully gives a bit of insight into a world which is rarely talked about. (I’ve since been informed that my digression about whether local TV channels are staffed was irrelevant – they are staffed, which backs up the entire point the article is making.)
How Strong Are Your Moral Values?
About how your BBC Micro can judge your moral code, and find you wanting. This is a piece I’d planned for years, and only wanted to publish once the new site design was in place as it’s very image-heavy. I hoped it’d do really well, and be an attention-grabbing relaunch piece… but it ended up going pretty much nowhere. I’ve been writing stuff online for years, and I still can’t really predict how any given article will do.
A Public Service Announcement on Trev and Simon
About how one of the rudest jokes Trev and Simon ever did was censored… and the cumulation of something which has been going round my head for nearly 25 years. Probably the best-structured thing I wrote on here all year – my pieces sometimes have an unfortunate tendency to tail off towards the end. This one saves the best revelation for last.
Writing for Fun and Zero Profit
All about how to enjoy writing online, even if not many people read it. The last half of the year didn’t see many big updates to the site, so it was nice to sneak in something at the end of the year which got some nice feedback. Completely coincidentally, it also works as a nice bookend to the first piece listed above, which was also about how to feel comfortable with your writing.
A few other bits and pieces, then. Firstly, the above doesn’t include the most popular thing I wrote all year. For that, you have to turn to this piece on brokerage company Customs Clearance Ltd, which got nearly three times the hits of anything else… despite being really really really really really boring. That’s what happens when a company makes itself look so dodgy that people keep googling the fucker to find out whether they’re being scammed or not.
One article from last year which I really found myself liking when I reread it this piece on the incomplete archives of online game Layer Tennis. I couldn’t bring myself to list it above, as it’s highly improbable anybody reading this will care about it. But it talks about something that I expect most people who followed the game haven’t noticed, and fills in a little bit of the historical record… something that sadly even the creator of the game himself doesn’t seem that bothered with. I try my best to write things on here which nobody else would bother writing, for good or for ill, and this is definitely one of those.
This is where I usually make my excuses about not finishing the long-promised redesign of this place, and not restarting my podcast. Podcast excuses will have to continue for the time being, but unexpectedly I actually managed to launch the redesign of Dirty Feed last year. There’s still plenty of room for improvement – hey, anyone fancy a logo which doesn’t just look like it was ripped off from Adult Swim? – but at least you can now browse this place on your phone without wanting to stab yourself in the genitals.
And finally: what have I got planned for the year to come? While there’s lots of stuff I like from last year, I think the balance of the site has been a little off, especially in the last six months. This year, I’d really like to do less throwaway stuff, and drag the focus of the site back to something I’ve neglected a little recently: some proper, meaty articles, especially about telly. So you can probably expect fewer updates this year, but hopefully a little more of substance, whatever that means around here.
Now, where did I put my copy of this?
2015 • 2016 • 2017 • 2018 • 2019 • 2020 • 2021 • 2022 • 2023
Man, people whinged too much about 2016. True, there was Trump, Brexit, and celebrity deaths aplenty, and on a personal note I nearly died of pneumonia. Still, I published some fun stuff on Dirty Feed, and isn’t that what really counts?
Time for my traditional self-regarding list, then. Below are a few of my favourite things I published here last year. (If you enjoyed any of it and can afford it, please consider donating to the Internet Archive.)
Fawlty Towers: A Touch of Class
Tracking down which parts of the first episode of Fawlty Towers were reshot between the original pilot recording, and the programme’s actual broadcast the following year. The second most popular piece on the site all year, and contains possibly the only time Dirty Feed will ever concentrate on somebody’s hairstyle.
The Fragility of the Web
I’ve written a lot of stuff about the web this year, most of it to general disinterest. This piece can stand to represent all of them: on how easy it is to destroy the web even when you think you stand to protect it. Not my best-written piece of the year, but a piece which gets to the heart of why I care about this stuff.
Who Framed Michael Eisner
Did the creators of Who Framed Roger Rabbit really manange to sneak in a flash-frame of Disney CEO Michael Eisner’s phone number into the film? (No.) Can I use this topic to talk about Python edits instead? (Yes.)
Blade Runner Afternoons
Ever wondered about how the famous Blockbusters cityscape opening titles were created? The show’s 1989 annual reveals all, with some beautiful behind-the-scenes pictures. This was the most read piece on the site all year. (I also posted some more behind-the-scenes stuff from the annual here.)
Hi-de-Hi! Edits #1, #2, #3
Comparing the DVD release of Hi-de-Hi! and its afternoon repeats on BBC Two. I maintain that Mr. Partridge really did once tell Peggy to “fuck off”. (Comparing all 58 episodes of the show is probably the biggest undertaking I’ve done on here all year. Final piece coming in January.)
“Network, we’ll have to come back and do the draw…”
About the lottery breakdown Bob Monkhouse dealt so expertly with back in 1996… and my own personal relationship to it. But not quite as wanky as that sounds. Nearly as wanky. But not quite.
A George & Mildred Christmas
A late entry, sneaking in at the very end of the year, about George & Mildred‘s Christmas episodes… and how the last episode manages to question the entire setup of the whole show. I’d love to write more stuff like this in the coming year.
Other things I wrote which I think turned out well: about the cut Diana joke in Men Behaving Badly, a skilful piece of presenting, the weirdest abandoned website ever, Elstree being silly, a guide to social media for game developers, why I dislike Digital Spy, old documentaries getting things wrong on purpose, and about ghosts of the internet.
However, my favourite piece I wrote all year wasn’t even on Dirty Feed. Instead it was published over on Ganymede & Titan, the Red Dwarf fansite once described as “a crock of shit” by Iain Lee. That piece was Hancock’s Half Hour: The Tycoon, and is all about the similarities between the Hancock episode The Tycoon, and the Red Dwarf episode Better than Life. It’s (nearly) everything I’d like my writing to be, but don’t always manage.
Back to Dirty Feed. Last year ended up being a bit of a mixed bag for the site. Sadly, I didn’t manage to get back to doing this, or finish this. On the other hand, I did publish more pieces on the site than any previous year, and for various reasons the year didn’t really lend itself to bigger projects in the end.
Thanks to everyone who has said nice things about the site over the past 12 months – I really do appreciate it. And I have lots of plans for the upcoming year. I may even finish the article I teased at the end of my Best of 2015 piece. Who knows?
2015 • 2016 • 2017 • 2018 • 2019 • 2020 • 2021 • 2022 • 2023
Happy New Year, everyone. And another year, another opportunity to be self-aggrandising and pretend it’s all in the spirit of “reflection”. Nevertheless, here are some of my favourite articles on Dirty Feed from the last 12 months. ENJOY IT YOU SCUM, ENJOY IT OR I WILL HAVE YOU KILLED.
On Automation.
Specifically, why automation isn’t to blame when a TV channel falls off air. Mainly written so I can smugly point to it when someone randomly complains about TV automation on Twitter. Yes, I am a complete cunt, why do you ask?
11 Things Wrong With Fawlty Towers
By far my most popular article all year in terms of hits… mainly because most of the words are John Cleese’s, not mine. My main aim was to prove to everyone that the John Cleese commentaries on the Remastered boxset are absolutely glorious, and well worth repurchasing the show for alone.
Acorn Fools’ Day
A trek through some fun April Fools gags in Acorn computer magazines of the 80s and 90s – and one of those articles I’ve been meaning to write for years, and then finally got round to. I’d love someone to write something similar about magazines for other platforms. Please?
Duncan Newmarch: “The Jingles I Grew Up With”
A chat with BBC continuity announcer Duncan Newmarch about why he loves radio jingles so much… and why he put together a montage of them which lasts two hours. I really must do more interviews, as “somebody else talking instead of me” is usually a relief to everybody.
24 Hours in Channel 5 TX
Probably the best thing I wrote all year, about a topic which really isn’t talked about much: how a television channel these days is actually put together. (I promised a follow-up piece answering all your questions which has yet to be published: hopefully it’ll be finished this month.)
One Foot in the Grave: Hearts of Darkness and The Thrilling Conclusion
Finally, the answer to a question I’ve been wondering for years – exactly what was cut out of the One Foot in the Grave episode Hearts of Darkness when it was released on DVD? It was extremely satisfying to finally get to the bottom of the mystery… especially when the answer was one nobody could have predicted.
‘The Quatermass Experiment’ Experiment
A piece ostensibly about the differences between the original broadcast and DVD release of the live 2005 version of Quatermass… but which turns into musings about the nature of live television drama about halfway through. This just nipped in right at the end to be my second-most popular piece of the year, which is nice, as this is the main reason the site quietened down for the last few months – it was an absolute bitch to research and write.
And bringing up the rear: why Comedy Central are IDIOTS, the history of jingles, how journalism works, and a look at edits made to The Fast Show on DVD. Oh, and this site hasn’t updated since I slagged it off, which is amusing.
So, a little self-indulgent ramble. Whilst I don’t sit obsessing over stats, “Are people reading your stuff?” in a general sense is always nice to know. 2015 has been the most successful year yet for Dirty Feed in that regard, with more readers than ever – in fact, slightly more than 2013 and 2014 combined. This is mainly down to a few pieces being shared rather more than usual, so thank you if you’ve retweeted, linked to, or written about one of my bits of nonsense over the past year. I really appreciate it.
In terms of the writing, I’m never happy that I’ve written enough, and I certainly didn’t write as much as I planned to. On the other hand, some of the pieces I did get round to writing are some of my favourites I’ve ever done. It feels like Dirty Feed has established its own voice more than ever, and hopefully that voice is “Things most people wouldn’t bother to write about, but you’re vaguely glad that somebody has.”
Sadly, my planned redesign and relaunch of my podcast didn’t happen, and in 2016, the lack of a proper responsive, mobile-friendly design is nothing short of ludicrous. These are my two priorities for the forthcoming year. No excuses.1
And that’s quite enough of that. Happy 2016 everyone. I hope you’ll join me for more nonsense this year. Right, I’m off to research old Buffy fansites which disappeared off the net ten years ago.
I’m not joking. That is literally what I am doing.
There might be excuses. ↩
