Tomorrow sees Resident Evil’s Chris Redfield embark on his toughest assignment yet. The horrors of Racoon City are nothing compared to the shadow that the Tricell Corporation has cast across the cradle of humanity, and the spectre of his arch-enemy, the infamous Albert Wesker, is lurking in the background.

And it’s all going to end in tears.

Find out why your help is needed, after the jump.

We need to be brutally honest here. Despite his fan-favourite status, Chris has never been particularly successful in pursuing his mission to free to planet from the menace of bioorganic weapons, and recent events have reduced his capacity even further. Capcom’s campaign of “Viral” live-action shorts has demonstrated that a decade of fighting zombies has taken its toll on our hero’s psyche. His chances of success have been hampered yet again by Wildstorm’s recent comic prequel, showing how the struggles of the Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance have got off to a distinctly troubled start. Before this mental assault, Redfield’s successes were mixed. His most recent encounter with Wesker saw him comprehensively outwitted, with vital B.O.W. data stolen from right under his nose. Even during his during his turn in CODE: Veronica as a clean-cut hero, the most he could manage was to knock his nemesis’s sunglasses off- a momentary humiliation of the forces of evil.

Without your funding, there’s every chance that this decisive battle against the Referee of Doom, awaited for nearly ten years by Resi fans, could be over in a matter of seconds.

Do you want this man to win AGAIN?

Please give generously. A donation of just two pounds will buy a riot gun round, allowing Chris to keep the rabid hordes at bay for a second. Every five hundred pounds raised will fund a first-aid spray, allowing the BSAA trooper to regrow his jaw after being on the receiving end of Wesker’s trademark thrust punch. Two thousand pounds will buy the humane destruction of Redfield’s idiotic AI co-op partner. And if we reach our appeal target of one million pounds, we can afford to have our hero freed from his legacy control scheme and given a command set actually befitting his new status as the star of a run-and-gun shooter. It’s an ambitious goal, but with your help, it’s within our reach…

Thank you.

Resident Evil 5 is released on the 13th of March.