"What would you say is your favourite Beatles album?"
"Prrrrrrobably... the... best of The Beatles"

"Anyone, really.. Frank Sinatra, Kurt Cobain..."

"Who's Kurt Cobain?"

"He was the lead singer in Nirvana? He shot himself?"

"Why, wasn't he any good?"

"Nah, he was brilliant..."

"Oh. Someone should have told him..."

"Oh. Someone should have told him..."

Hands down my favourite line in either IAP series.

>Hands down my favourite line in either IAP series.

I think I'm going with, "Come here, you lucky, lucky lady."

"Fannies."

The funniest thing is when he leaves Tony Hayers's funeral singing 'Life isn't everything!' (it's an Elton John song) and then cut to him walking in the Travel Tavern singing 'Life is the name of the game and I wanna play the game with you.' (Generation Game). Classic. There's so many random songs, particularly in the first series. 'Take a pinch of white man, wrap him up in black skin...add a dash of blue blood...something else in Geordie.'.

"...BYE."

>"...BYE."

THAT'S the funniest line in either series. I've decided now.

What context is that in again?

I'm glad Ian asked, so I didn't have to demonstrate Inferior Partridge Knowledge by asking myself.

It's during an awkward exchange with one of the builders in his new house, but I can't remember the exact dialogue without watching the ep. Also, I do remember a Lumberjack Song reference, but I'm buggered if I can remember where...

"Who are Wings?"
"They're only the band The Beatles could have been"
"I love The Beatles"
"Yeah, so do I".
"What's your favourite Beatles album, then?"
"Tough one..I think I'd have to say..."The Best of The Beatles".

>What context is that in again?

The Bond episode, I believe, in which he's talking to one of the builders...he finds himself describing the "ring of hairs around each nipple" and another pattern of hair that builds toward "the usual places."

...BYE.

>I do remember a Lumberjack Song reference

According to the site it's in the derranged fan episode, if that helps. Am I just being daft, or is it not a very clear reference?

>The Bond episode, I believe, in which he's talking to one of the builders...he finds himself describing the "ring of hairs around each nipple" and another pattern of hair that builds toward "the usual places."

That's the one! I'll have to watch the fan ep tonight, but I could swear that I've heard it. This isn't the first time that I've convinced myself wrongly, though.

That's my bike, that's desert storm.

Lynne, you're laughing at weather! You're like your Mum in her final days!

Hello... my names.... GRAEME.

It is alien judge!

I done better than that last night, I had full sex with a woman.

Oi, you lanky bastard! You said you were interested in writing for NTS a few months ago... still up for it?

Yes, certainly. I've got nothing on this weekend so could probably knock something out.

...then write an article.

Oh I forgot a couple of my favourite moments. One is from the deleted scenes ('What?' I hear you cry, 'You're not one of those sad wankers that actually looks at extras on DVDs?' Well, yes I am. 'Ha ha ha, you stupid Trekkie smeg head gimp!' ('smeg head' said in the way that Lister says it in 'The End'))

It's the one where Alan and Lynn are in the car talking about porn and Lynn says 'My mother always told me never to look up at the top shelf.' and Alan says 'Well that's probably why you've got bad posture like a mouse, Lynn!' The way he delivers it is classic. The other is when Alan swings the bag over everyone's head when they're taking the piss out of him, then Lynn comes up to the room and she says 'would you like a mint?' and he says 'No! Yes...' and she also has one and he says 'I don't think you should have one, Lynn!' and she has to take it out of her mouth! Then he plays her the dictaphone - 'sack Lynn for...for being...for joining in fun in a way that...excludes her employer...and sack her for being...an absolute idiot...oh and call Bill Oddie and...' Truly PHENOMENAL television comedy. That first series is a real masterclass.

Ian, I've sent something to the contributions email address now

You cunt.