Doctor Who - The Lazarus Experiment & 42

While the Dalek two parter was a bit of a stinker, its grand ambition and goofy charm encouraged continued hope for a series that didn't contain the annual two or three risible, cock-awful episodes. We'd started strong, faltered slightly, but were still riding a crest of goodwill to some extent. Then there was The Lazarus Experiment, the scripting debut and hopefully swansong of some prick called Stephen Greenhorn. The episode must have looked good on paper - fan favourite writer Mark Gatiss appearing in front of the cameras for the first time as a mad scientist with a special machine to wind back his own body clock. But the process has bestowed more gifts upon him than youth - he's also now prone to turning into a gigantic man eating scorpion monster thing, which I'll refer to from now on as "the shittest special effect ever", for obvious reasons.

Gatiss is acceptable as Dr. Lazarus, and his performance brings a certain dramatic weight to certain scenes that wouldn't be there otherwise, the actual writing being so flimsy and one dimensional. For some reason he's content to keep turning into the shittest special effect ever (which has to eat people to stay alive) - but when he keeps screaming in pain and being left naked and comatose on the floor by his unpredictable change-backs, his rhetoric about being "higher evolved" than everyone else sounds unconvincing. Every moment that the shittest special effect ever is on screen, any tension or drama is undercut by the fact that he just looks so, so, so laughably shit. Having a whole episode hinge upon the quality of one CG character in New Who is unwise to say the least - the CG in Who is best used when it's subtle, and this series has so far been wise enough to reel it in a bit and focus on prosthetic monsters and CG establishing shots. Except perhaps for the werewolf in series two, no episode has hinged quite so much on one special effect being decent. And not since about 1970 has a special effect in the show been so catastrophically handled.

I mean, how to even describe it. It's got a face, which looks nothing like Mark Gatiss, which periodically develops predator fangs. It wouldn't look out of place in a cut-scene from a computer game released in 1998. It's got the body of a weird scuttly insect thing, and it's the size of a bus, and it's unconvincing on every level. The explanation for its existence at all is strained to say the least, its defeat achieved via the use of the sonic screwdriver magnifying sound - how many times has this device been used lately? I mean, it's one thing to rely on the sonic screwdriver. It's quite another to rely on ONE FUNCTION of it. There's just a total lack of plot running throughout the episode - it has one red-herring ending about halfway through, and then another ten minutes of unrelenting nothingness until it limps to it's conclusion. The business of Martha joining the TARDIS team full time feels rushed and irrelevant. The Doctor's initial reluctance to offer Martha the position of full time Rose-replacement jars with his pleading Catherine Fucking Tate to come along at Christmas - it's inconsistent. Why would he ask a squawking harpy to come along, but keep trying to drop Martha back home when she's done nothing but act like a textbook Doctor Who assistant since he met her?

AND ANOTHER THING. I wish set dressers would stop showing "young people" as living in flats with LIME GREEN, SKY BLUE or PURPLE walls. Martha's flat is a horrible mess of clashing neon, like that flat on Eastenders that Gus lives in. WE DON'T HAVE GREEN AND PURPLE WALLS. We mostly have BEIGE WALLS. Because WHO CAN BE FUCKED PAINTING A SHORT TERM LEASED FLAT A LOAD OF STUPID COLOURS? Only dickheads, that's who, really.

It's sad that in its third run, Doctor Who can still turn out utter fucking clunkers like this. While the overall sheen of the production elevates this above some of series one's misfires, it's a curious feeling to be watching an episode of Who that has more effects budget than genuine ideas - its a total reversal of much of the original series' appeal. Although as previously mentioned, all the effects budget in the world couldn't have made the stupid gangly awkward spider crab Mark Gatiss mutant gaylord monster look anything other than totally, totally, totally spazzy and broken. And sadly it looks like more of the same will happen next year - Greenhorn is back, unless I can talk him out of it, for another "bloody" episode.

The less said about 42 the better. It's called 42 because it's like 24, ie, it's in real time. 42 refers to the length in minutes of yer average episode. It was soul draining enough to write a review of Lazarus that I'm only going to afford 42 this brief list of pointers.

- Chris Chibnall, writer of 42 and head writer of Torchwood, needs to be taken outside and dealt with, sharpish. That such a halfwit exerts such an influence over the current leading brand of British Science Fiction embarrasses me.
- I can forgive Who much of its apparent plagiarism as friendly nods to influences or inevitable similarities between sci-fi archetypes. But to be ripping off one of your own episodes from last series is a bit weak, and this episode looked exactly like "The Impossible Planet / The Satan Pit".
- Foreshadowing is all well and good, and is being handled better in this series than last, but the "Saxon"-arc related scenes in this episode were exactly the same as the ones in the last episode, more or less. Yawn.
- David Tennant deserves a medal for his ability to make this toss engaging and sporadically exciting.

I award both episodes a big steaming turd out of five. But it's OK, because after these two, they're all BRILLIANT, more or less.

About this entry

By Michael Lacey
Posted on Friday, June 29 2007 @ 7:16 pm
Categorised in TV
Tagged with doctor who
13 comments

Comments

>I wish set dressers would stop showing "young people" as living in flats with LIME GREEN, SKY BLUE or PURPLE walls. Martha's flat is a horrible mess of clashing neon, like that flat on Eastenders that Gus lives in.

Erm, I like it. But then, our living room is PURPLE; one of the reasons we decided to move in. Ahem. Actually, now I think about it, our kitchen is yellow, and our bathroom is green; only our bedroom is beige. So have at yer. I agree with everything else, though.

By Tanya Jones
June 30, 2007 @ 12:01 pm

reply / #

It just irks slightly with the supposed depiction of Martha as a "typical" medical student as established in that first trailer for series three - "I try to make ends meet.... I battle with textbooks..." and yet her house is entirely unconvincing. One of the things I liked about Rose and Mickeys places was that they really looked like bog standard council houses, and I just don't buy Marthas house. She probably has trouble trying to make ends meet because she spent all her money on that big telly. And she didn't seem that bothered about her house getting blown up last week, neither.

I don't really mind Martha but making her instrumental in the drama of the last few episodes has revealed what an undernourished character she is, really. Giving Rose dramatic importance beyond that of the basic companion worked well for the show in the first series because she was such a rounded out character, but there's so many bits of Marthas story that are just niggling or half-arsed that it doesn't seem to work why then try it with her.

That said, I hope to be proved wrong by tonights episode.

By Michael Lacey
June 30, 2007 @ 6:04 pm

reply / #

> That said, I hope to be proved wrong by tonights episode.

She walked the Earth for a year. If that isn't rounding out her character (get it, she walked ROUND the Earth) I don't know what is. Mwaahahahgahaha!!! I agree that she's been a wasted opportunity all season. The idea of her being in love with the Doctor but him not looking twice at her was a bit flimsy and boring, it weakened her character considerably IMO. Russell got her right in the first episode Smith & Jones (apart from the fact that she was suddenly in love with the Doctor) she was an intelligent action girl who wasn't going to be whiney like Rose. But from then on he could have been with any companion. Not enough special about her. Slightly redeemed in episode 13 with her being the saviour of Earth, but it was way overblown and unreal.

Er,

By performingmonkey
July 01, 2007 @ 4:05 am

reply / #

> That said, I hope to be proved wrong by tonights episode.

Er, I think you were a bit harsh on Stephen Greenhorn here. Lazarus wasn't the best episode but it was OK. Yes, 42 was worse. A throwaway with crap guest characters and some big CG shots. The sun being 'alive' is interesting but crappily executed here.

By performingmonkey
July 01, 2007 @ 4:07 am

reply / #

>It just irks slightly with the supposed depiction of Martha as a "typical" medical student as established in that first trailer for series three - "I try to make ends meet.... I battle with textbooks..." and yet her house is entirely unconvincing. One of the things I liked about Rose and Mickeys places was that they really looked like bog standard council houses, and I just don't buy Marthas house. She probably has trouble trying to make ends meet because she spent all her money on that big telly. And she didn't seem that bothered about her house getting blown up last week, neither.

True, although some student places look pretty smart nowadays; maybe she got lucky and finds other bills hard to meet. And to be honest, if I was being hunted by The Master, my flat would be the last thing on my mind. The Tyler's council flat was pretty on the button, I admit; really good design.

By Tanya Jones
July 01, 2007 @ 12:12 pm

reply / #

Yeah, right on - they need to get Who back to its gritty roots and present some serious social realism. Next season: Companions on Crack.

Marginally more seriously, it's not a big deal, and comes from Davies' (not unreasonable) philosophy that channel-hopping viewers are drawn in by bright visuals. Admittedly, he sites Ally McBeal, among others, as an influence - but the point's valid, if a little simplistic. (24 has good visuals too; colour isn't the only way to be 'impressive'.)

For this show? Not bothered.

By Andrew
July 01, 2007 @ 12:33 pm

reply / #

I agree with the review. These episodes were disappointing and the Dalek 2-parter was great fun in the end after a tiresome surplus of plot elements in part one came together in part two. The rest of the series was amazing though with Russell T Davies providing us with breathless clever adventures like 'Smith and Jones' and 'Gridlock', the finest historical romp of the new series with 'The Shakespeare Code', a very poignant and emotionally rich two-parter with 'Human Nature/Family of Blood', another brilliantly epic series climax and if the shooting schedule requires your lead actors to be elsewhere, 'Blink' was incredibly successful at filling that hole while providing us with a quality action adventure. The best series of New Who so far by quite some way.

By Rad
July 01, 2007 @ 3:23 pm

reply / #

The Lazarus Experiment ain't going to win any end-of-season polls but I thought it was pretty good. It was a pretty old-fashioned mad scientist storyline but did well within its remit, especially the depiction of Lazarus himself which I thought was down to some tight scripting as well as Gatiss's performance. As for the monster, well I just watched and enjoyed 'Carnival Of Monsters' so it doesn't bother me that much to be honest - strange, though, that the production team should come up with their poorest offering (and one so integral to an episode's success) halfway through their third year though, would've expected clunkers like this to come in series one.

You're absolutely right about 42 though.

"It's picking us off.... ONE BY ONE."

By Andy M
July 01, 2007 @ 10:27 pm

reply / #

I find it interesting how often elements of the crappy episodes of New Who - Lazarus, Boom Town, Long Game - have large parts to play in season finales. Usually to much better effect.

By Andrew
July 01, 2007 @ 11:14 pm

reply / #

Well, Lazarus wasn't *that* important. It gave The Master an opportunity to go "remember the Lazarus experiment? I've got a lazarus experiment in a pen! I'm going to zap you!" but if they'd just axed the whole stupid episode The Master could have just said "I've got a make-you-old pen" instead and the average quality of a series three episode would have rocketed up.

I just watched Utopia / Sound Of Drums / Last Of The Timelords as one big thing, and I think it's quite a lot better than the previous two season finales.

By Michael Lacey
July 01, 2007 @ 11:20 pm

reply / #

Well, okay, but it does explain why so little was done with the age tech developed in the thin Lazarus story - they were saving it for later.

By Andrew
July 02, 2007 @ 1:45 am

reply / #

It doesn't explain why the whole episode was made of poo-poo, though.

By Michael Lacey
July 02, 2007 @ 2:52 am

reply / #

It had Tish in it. That alone makes it worth watching.

By performingmonkey
July 02, 2007 @ 5:04 pm

reply / #